Raising Godly Women in a World That Teaches Otherwise with Pam Lozano
This week I sit down with Pam Lozano to talk about Raising Godly Women in a World that Teaches Otherwise. Pam is not only a girl mom but has served as a youth pastor with her husband for 23 years. Her wisdom and desire to lead girls to walking in purity in every facet of life is so needed and such a blessing to hear. You will leave this conversation feeling encouraged to parent your girls from a place of full reliance on The Lord, equipped with resources to walk them through God's truth, and met by another mom who has walked the road before you.
1) Tell us about you!
-My name is Pam Lozano. I am passionate about mentoring and empowering next generation women with truth. Truth that God created them uniquely and adores them just the way they are. That He has a specific purpose and plan for their lives and if they pursue that plan, they will be fulfilled in ways they cannot imagine! I am a mom of three grown children - a 23 year old daughter, Caeilen and two sons - Judah is 19 and Markus is 13. I love writing, leading worship, decorating, taking long walks and enjoying a Starbucks peppermint hot chocolate over a long chat with a friend.
2) I loved getting to sit down with my friend Shanda Fulbright to talk about raising Godly men in a world that teaches otherwise and now I’m just as excited to sit down and talk with you about raising Godly women in a world that teaches otherwise. So I first wanted to start with this: the world deems masculinity in men as a bad thing and then in the very same breath they deem femininity in women as weak. We see secular feminism which is built on earthly strength, hardened independence, and a “trailblazer” attitude. This is sweeping young women off their feet and into a life that doesn’t fit God’s desires.
As a mom of girls how have you trained up your daughters to know what God says about them regardless of what culture teaches? What negative effects have you seen happen to our women through this culture?
-Caeilen is now 23 and grew up with us in youth ministry throughout her teen years. I tried to always instill that what God says about her trumps everything culture teaches. That His word is truth and the only thing we can anchor our hearts and emotions to. That no matter who said what - she is unconditionally loved by God for who she is - HIS daughter. And that she doesn't have to do anything to earn God's love.
There are so many negative effects from what culture teaches our daughters. Culture portrays beauty as stick-thin, air-brushed models of perfection. Anything less is unacceptable and less than. This generation of women compares themselves to the women on the covers of Cosmo or Teen Vogue, forgetting that these altered images aren't truth.
These photographs are photoshopped, cropped and filtered to create an unrealistic image to be idolized and sought after. This results however, in demoralized women who hate themselves and their bodies because perfection cannot be achieved. They often then fall into self-destructive behaviors when they realize they can never attain this level of beauty.
3) I love your ministry Pure Design. I’d love to unpack that a little bit. How do you share purity with your girls? What have those conversations looked like over the years.
-Pure Design exists to empower girls with truth and authenticity. Three main areas of impact are self-image, self-worth and pure beauty.
Purity is a big piece of what we talk about with young women, but it isn't the main focus.Desiring to walk in purity comes from a place of first loving God.When we love God, we want to please Him. But secondly, it comes from a place of VALUING ourselves and SEEING OURSELVES as God's treasured daughters - so deeply loved and valued by Him that we KNOW what we are worth.When we know our worth, we take pride in ourselves and THAT keeps us desiring to please and honor God.
-I go more in depth in this in my new devotional - Purity's Still in Style - there's an entire week on sexual purity - but there's 2 pages called Why Wait that I believe gives a great Biblical overview and perspective.
My message / conversation has changed over the years... I've really moved away from any type of Do's and Don't's list or any fear tactics.
The BEST motivating factor is love - when we love God, we want to obey and please Him.
4) How have you and your husband tackled hard issues/conversations together in regards to leading your daughter and pointing her to living out what God desires for her life?
Well let me say, we haven't always done it right. We made our fair share of mistakes in conversations...In fact, my biggest mistakes were made when I parented out of fear - being afraid she might mess up or make a mistake... rather than trusting and empowering her to make right choices. There's a different underlying factor - and as believers we are called to parent and lead from a place of faith.
-It hasn't always been easy... we've walked through some difficult seasons with Caeilen. But the key word is WITH. We stuck by her side and loved her no matter what. There were times when we didn't see eye to eye when it came to boys, but we talked it through, sometimes more than talked... but we stayed committed to the relationship and God has really seen us through... We always strived to keep communication open between us. We were involved in her life and asked a lot of questions - probably more than she ever liked. And today we have a great relationship, one where she includes us and asks our opinion on things way more than she did in the past. We love working together and growing and developing Pure Design Ministries & Magazine as a team.
5) I know you and your husband have done youth ministry for years. I know there is a mom listening to this episode who has kids in the “youth group” age. What is the best wisdom you’d share with them in regards to pointing them to Jesus? (Devotionals/one on one time/less busy schedule)
-Yes, Jake and I have been Youth & Young Adult Pastors for 23 years.
Best wisdom - is get your kids to church... YES, MAKE them go!
I hear so often parents say - I don't want to make them go to Youth Group if they don't want to - yet in every other area of life we "make them" do things they don't want to... We make them go to the doctor, we make them go to the dentist, we make them eat their vegetables... why in the world then wouldn't we MAKE them do something that we know is spiritually good for them. I know there are many reasons teens don't want to go - they don’t know anyone, the music isn't their style, they don't love the Youth Pastor, but let me ask you this - if you think your kid MIGHT have a chance to encounter God and have a chance to grow spiritually - don't you think it's worth encouraging them to get over themselves and just go!?
My husband challenged a young man over 20 years ago to get back into youth group and really TRY - and within months, this teen was the strongest leader, who would pray, preach and lead the group in ways we couldn't have imagined. It all came from a challenge to get over the uncomfortable and simply say yes and show up. To this day, this man is a strong Christian leader.
6) Something that I’ve seen play out over time in our culture is the attack on how God created a woman. I think of what God’s word says about His daughters. He uses them in mighty ways yet talks about them with a sense delicacy. The world wants to create harsh women, but God created women to be - skillful, tender, refined, delicate, loved, wise, discerning, trustworthy, honorable just to name a few from scripture. We don’t want harsh women, we want Godly women. I don’t want to be known as Chelsey - the harsh one. I want to be known as Chelsey - the woman that loved the Lord.
-As a mom how have you tackled this? How have you taught your girls to seek these things above the things of this world? We talk a lot about this very topic in our brand new issue of Pure Design Magazine - Fierce Femininity. I truly believe just like a coin - there are two very powerful sides to every woman. I think God did create us to be fierce and powerful. If you are a mom - you know creating a life inside of you, growing that life, nurturing it and then bringing that child into the world - takes some grit and determination and fierceness. God desires kingdom minded women who are powerful, resourceful, skillful and able to do what He has gifted them to do from a place of securely knowing they are His daughters. You see as Daughters of the King - we have the rights and authority of God's kingdom. Just as a princess or queen would on the earth.
-But, that doesn't mean we have to "lord it over men"... he did create us to reflect his beauty, grace, tenderness and so many other amazing traits that are usually found in the beautiful gift of femininity. You see in Genesis - God called Adam AND Eve to have dominion over the earth - as equal partners. So we don't have to fight for position or importance. It was granted to us in the garden. We simply have to be secure in knowing who we are.
7) The Living With Less podcast was birthed from John 3:30, He must increase, I must decrease. If someone asked you what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to what gets in the way of Him what would you tell them and why?
Honestly, I believe this answer is the same and yet different for every single person. Firstly, we must live with less of ANYTHING that gets in the way of our relationship with God. The greatest command is to love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, soul, mind and strength.
Anything else is less than ALL... So anything that creates a barrier from our relationship with God has to go - whether that's food, money, relationships, alcohol, whatever... we have to let go, so God gets more.
But the items or issues for each one of us are very different depending on our history, our weaknesses and our tendencies. So it really takes listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit and walking in obedience every single day.
Connect with Pam here!
Pam Lozano is the Founder & President of Pure Design Ministries & Magazine. She is a speaker of topics on faith, self-image, self-worth and purity. Pam has been a Youth & Young Adult Pastor for over twenty years. She is passionate about mentoring young women to identify and pursue their dreams and to live whole-heartedly for Christ. Pam has written two devotionals for teen and young adult women on self-image and purity. Pam leads Pure Design with her daughter Caeilen, who oversees social media and is the Fashion & Style Editor of Pure Design Magazine. You can find more information about or follow Pure Design at:
Website: www.puredesigngirl.com
-Instagram: @PureDesignGirl
-Facebook: @Pure DesignGirl
-Twitter @PureDesignTeen
- For moms of teen daughters: Private FB Group – Pure Design Mom2Mom
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