This week I sit down with Shanda Fulbright as we dive into the topic of Raising Godly Men in A World That Teaches Otherwise. Shanda shares about how she and her husband navigate conversations with their sons from a biblical perspective. She points us to why we must teach our boys to be men of God because someone else will teach them otherwise. She reminds us to teach our boys what The Word says about what He calls them to: to lead, protect, and grow in their relationship with Him (to name a few.)
*Next week I will be sitting down with Pam Lozano to talk about Raising Godly Women in a World That Teaches Otherwise.*
1) Tell us about you!
- I am happily married to my husband o 19 years and together we have 3 boys: 17, 15, and 10. We live in the Central Valley in Ca. I am an ordained minster with the COG as well as a credentialed teacher. I felt the Lord leading me out of the church and into a new way of ministering and I started blogging 2 years ago. Last year I started a podcast called Her Faith Inspires where I really combat cultural Christianity with the Word of God. I currently teach online Bible studies and am hosting my first “How to study the Bible like a scholar class” which I anticipate being a repeat.
2) As a mom of boys - lets start with this - how have you seen culture attack our young boys, who become young men, who become grown men. What scriptures do you use to combat these lies from culture.
- This is a great question because I just heard this week that the American Psychology Association came out with an article that says that masculinity is harmful. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing so I went and read the article and sure enough, they are teaching psychologists how to treat men to suppress their masculinity.
- Feminism is another movement that has demoralized and put down men with the sole purpose of elevating women.
- We are currently hearing the message that the roles of men and women are interchangeable. We hear the message from Disney that girls are independent and strong and don’t need a man. It’s all about girl power, and while that message in isolation may not be a bad thing, it is always congruent with the message that boys have to suppress their masculinity. Our culture doesn’t celebrate manly traits.
- It’s clear in God’s word that God made a distinction in the male and female creation and I always go back to Genesis 1-3 with this argument, although it is in the new testament as well. I wrote a study called Reflections of Eve and I explain in depth the male and female roles. God gave the man specific jobs and duties and when the man fell short of this, God came looking for him to give an answer. God will never reverse or the mix the roles of the male and female. Society and culture may try but it won’t work because this is outside of God’s design.
3) I loved the episode you did with your husband about the attack on men (episode 25). How do you and your husband lead your boys in biblical truth?
- This is one I am big on as a parent. My first job is to teach inside my home. I will not gain the world and lose the opportunity to pour into the souls of my boys. With that said, we have devotionals and talk to them about God all of the time. I am currently teaching them apologetics curriculum because they go to a public school and are BOMBARDED with ideologies that conflict with biblical truth.I have taught them creeds by Voddie Bauchum to defend biblical truth and the scripture that goes with it. It is imperative that our kids know what they believe and why because I tell my boys all the time that faith is often tested … it’s truth and the quest for truth that stands. When one of my boys admits that they are struggling or doubting, I don’t fret. Truth sets us free and I know that’s what they want. Only God can reveal it to them, but I make sure they get it. I also encourage my older two to read their own bibles because they need to develop this disciple and relationship with the Lord on their own. There aren’t too many bible studies that are deep in spiritual truth so I just teach them from my own bible and we talk often about how to contend for the faith.
4) Tell everyone about your #boymom bible study! How has being a mom of boys grown your faith? What things have you learned about the heart of God that you wouldn’t otherwise?
- I wrote #Boymom because the Bible is full of them. Every man in the Bible has a mother who influenced their relationships with God and the call God plead on their lives. So, I took 8 moms in the Bible, even ones who made hellacious mistakes because we all do and we can learn from them, and I wrote this study for all of the boy moms like me who are running alongside our boys and cheering them on even when the world does not.
- I wanted girls. I cried when I found out I was having boy #1 and then boy #2. But God showed me several things:
- He knows what we need more than we do.
- He has called me to be an advocate for good men. I will not allow the world to brand my boys before they have a chance to become men.
- The call of a son is entangled in his mother. What I mean by that is Sampson’s mom had to commit to the Nazirite vow while he was in her womb. She had to make the commitment follow the Lord before her son ever did. Our call as a mother is so important and it is the highest call we will ever have. The corporate ladder, education or anything else pales in comparison to the impact a mother makes in the lives of her children.
- What I’ve learned about God: He loves my boys more than I do. He teaches me through them. When I see their hurts, their joys, their fears, I realize through glimpse the relationship the Father has with me.
5) Something I see often is this attack on men to suppress the gifts God has given them. As you train up your boys are there specific things you talk with them about in regards to what God calls them to be as follower of Christ?
- From the time my boys were very little I told them they are men of God. They will choose an occupation, become a husband and fathers one day, but first and foremost they are men of God. I tell them the kinds of things I pray of them: that they will grow in wisdom, stature and favor with God and man. I tell them they don’t have to have it all figured out because God knows the path they should take and will guide them. I tell them all the time that they need to have their own relationship with God and they have to come to the knowledge of the truth on their own.
- I tell them what I see they can be in Christ when they’re defeated. I remind them of God’s truth when they get fearful because this world bogs them down too. I speak truth into them all the time and teach them to call on the Lord with their own heart and mouth.
6) Something my husband and I often talk about is the lack of responsibility the current americanized christian movement has led men into. They don’t have much in the way of accountability to lead their families, share what God’s doing, and speak up on behalf of the gospel. I don’t believe its because they are weak - I believe its because they’ve not been taught. Can you share with those tuning in what God does command of our men and that it is different than what He commands of women women.
- God gave Adam the responsibility to tend and keep his home. To keep means to guard in Hebrew. Men are the watchmen of their homes.
- When I wrote #Boymom, I realized that God has asked men to do hard things.
- Paul wrote the chain of command in the word: God, Christ, husband, wife.
- The man will answer to God for the way he leads his family and home. As women, we must also remember that the husband is the only one in the relationship commanded by God to love his wife like Christ loves the church and to give himself up for her. That is the highest example of love we have.
- So, as a mother, I have to teach my boys their responsibility according to God’s word, AND allow him to do this when the time comes. That is also the call of a #Boymom … to let him leave me and cling to her.
7) The podcast was birthed from John 3:30, “He must increase, I must decrease”. If someone asked you what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to this what would you tell them and why?
- I would say more of Jesus means less of the world. We are bombarded with ideologies and information and it can bog us down and we carry these things around like baggage. The truth of God’s word sets us free and when we fill up on Him, those things fall away. As Christians, we must learn to read, pray and study the word of God. We must cling to it and fill out minds with it. More of Him means less of the world and that is the best way to live.
8) What is one of your fav bible verses and why!
- 1 Cor 9:27 partly because I do crossfit and partly because I teach the word. “I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should, So that after preaching to others, I myself may not be disqualified."