"Suicide Is Painless" is a song written by Johnny Mandel (music) and Michael Altman (lyrics). It was the theme song for both the movie and TV series M*A*S*H. YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i70_u7T8hq8
"The song was written specifically for Ken Prymus, the actor playing Private Seidman, who sang it during the faux-suicide of Walter "Painless Pole" Waldowski (John Schuck) in the film's "Last Supper" scene. Director Robert Altman had two stipulations about the song for Mandel: it had to be called "Suicide Is Painless" and it had to be the "stupidest song ever written". Altman attempted to write the lyrics himself, but upon finding it too difficult for his 45-year-old brain to write "stupid enough," he gave the task to his 14-year-old-son Michael, who wrote the lyrics in five minutes."
Suicide Is Painless
Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
I try to find a way to make
All our little joys relate
Without that ever-present hate
But now I know that it's too late, and
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
And to another give my seat
For that's the only painless feat
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger watch it grin, but
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied 'Oh, why ask me?'
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
'Cause suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
And you can do the same thing if you please
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