The Enneagram Edge with Host Tracy O’Malley
Business:Entrepreneurship
115: How to give effective, empowering feedback to each Enneagram type
2021-01-21
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One of the most important aspects of communication is giving feedback
And this is usually where things go wrong.
Listen now
Why giving feedback can be tough
Giving feedback is usually when things get misinterpreted, feelings get hurt, more communication gets shut down, anger erupts, or resentments build up.
But if you know who you’re talking to, you can understand how the recipient is going to process and interpret feedback. And this is one of the most important takeaways I’ve had from the Enneagram.
Giving feedback inside and outside the home
When I speak to my children, they’re both very different from me; the way I receive feedback and interpret it is very different from the way they do.
In business, when I’m leading large teams, understanding who’s in front of me—especially if I’m the one guiding them—is also very important.
Do you want to be right or do you want to be effective?
When I was coming from places of insecurity, fear, ego, and doubt, I just wanted to be right. But that proved to not be effective in my home, businesses—anywhere really.
Trust me, you want to be the most effective leader you can be. This allows you to use less words, stop repeating yourself, and stop trying to reinvent the wheel—all of which bankrupt us energetically.
Using the Enneagram, you can have a framework to first understand yourself and how you interpret things, and then also understand the ways others need to be led.
Listen to this week’s episode to learn more!
Quotes:
:49
When you know who you are talking to, understanding how they’re going to process and interpret feedback has been the most important part of me understanding the Enneagram.
2:52
Most people probably aren’t like you, and the way that they need to be lead looks very, very different from you.
7:43
1’s can be exceptionally self critical and are likely to take any kind of feedback pretty personally.
10:14
2’s are normally used to giving feedback to others, but may not be equally open to receiving it.
14:04
3’s don’t only dislike feedback, they’re likely to actively avoid it.
17:08
Make the conversation [with 4’s] personal and intimate by using language like I, me, mine.
20:14
Keeping emotions to a minimum for a 5 is important because they don’t want to get emotional.
23:40
The Enneagram 6 is likely to come into the feedback session with a high level of anxiety.
26:54
Being sensitive to the 7’s tendency to avoid [the negative emotions] will be important.
30:29
8’s don’t like to feel like they’re being controlled by anything.
35:51
Establishing a connection at the start of the conversation will also be important because the 9 kind of feels like they have been shutting down their own needs to keep the environment happy.
view more
And this is usually where things go wrong.
Listen now
Why giving feedback can be tough
Giving feedback is usually when things get misinterpreted, feelings get hurt, more communication gets shut down, anger erupts, or resentments build up.
But if you know who you’re talking to, you can understand how the recipient is going to process and interpret feedback. And this is one of the most important takeaways I’ve had from the Enneagram.
Giving feedback inside and outside the home
When I speak to my children, they’re both very different from me; the way I receive feedback and interpret it is very different from the way they do.
In business, when I’m leading large teams, understanding who’s in front of me—especially if I’m the one guiding them—is also very important.
Do you want to be right or do you want to be effective?
When I was coming from places of insecurity, fear, ego, and doubt, I just wanted to be right. But that proved to not be effective in my home, businesses—anywhere really.
Trust me, you want to be the most effective leader you can be. This allows you to use less words, stop repeating yourself, and stop trying to reinvent the wheel—all of which bankrupt us energetically.
Using the Enneagram, you can have a framework to first understand yourself and how you interpret things, and then also understand the ways others need to be led.
Listen to this week’s episode to learn more!
Quotes:
:49
When you know who you are talking to, understanding how they’re going to process and interpret feedback has been the most important part of me understanding the Enneagram.
2:52
Most people probably aren’t like you, and the way that they need to be lead looks very, very different from you.
7:43
1’s can be exceptionally self critical and are likely to take any kind of feedback pretty personally.
10:14
2’s are normally used to giving feedback to others, but may not be equally open to receiving it.
14:04
3’s don’t only dislike feedback, they’re likely to actively avoid it.
17:08
Make the conversation [with 4’s] personal and intimate by using language like I, me, mine.
20:14
Keeping emotions to a minimum for a 5 is important because they don’t want to get emotional.
23:40
The Enneagram 6 is likely to come into the feedback session with a high level of anxiety.
26:54
Being sensitive to the 7’s tendency to avoid [the negative emotions] will be important.
30:29
8’s don’t like to feel like they’re being controlled by anything.
35:51
Establishing a connection at the start of the conversation will also be important because the 9 kind of feels like they have been shutting down their own needs to keep the environment happy.
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