42. Tara McCausland ON: A fellow Podcaster, host of ’Still Rowing’, Tara shares her experience growing up with a parent battling addiction. Surrendering, The power of Vulnerability, Shame, Miracles.

Tara McCausland has become a friend and someone I look to as a leader in rewriting some of the narratives that the world forces upon us at birth. She is the host of the podcast "Still Rowing" which can be found on any major podcast platform. I invite you to tune in and listen. Tara is a wonderful person!

 

 

Everyone has “Skeleton’s in their Closet”, but Tara didn’t know about the Skeleton living in her families closet until years after her parents were already battling it. Tara’s shares her personal experiences dealing with the trauma and pain caused by her fathers battle with addiction. 

 

 

Tara’s Dad was introduced to pornography as a young boy, to no fault of his own. Years of trauma and unprocessed feelings lingered in him and led to very real and strong cravings throughout his life. Spending money on prostitutes, going to strip clubs, and viewing pornography regularly were habits that gripped his life to the point sometimes that Tara's mother didn’t know if she was going to be able to feed the family because of his spending habits. When Tara's mother first learned of her husband's addiction she did what she felt was best for her marriage and her family. She fought for it and almost willed her husband to change. 

 

 

Soon after Tara's mission when she was newly wed, Tara’s Father was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, excommunicated from the Church he belonged too, and in jeopardy of potentially even losing his job. At this crucial point He made a courageous decision, he chose to face each member of his family, and with complete humility and vulnerability he told them all the full truth. Honesty finally came into play and as a result Shame could be processed and worked through. 

 

 

Although this was not the first offense for her Father, her Mother's response was very different and set the stage for recovery. The day after learning what he had done, she walked outside raised her hands up to God and “gave” her husband to Him. She told God that she was done trying to push him to change and put all of her trust and faith in God to take watch over and care for her Husband and Family. She needed to see that her husband was willing to change for good without any pressure from her other than knowing if he didn't she would walk away. Her willingness to take the huge leap of faith and finally let go and allowed her husband the opportunity to see that his wife was serious about leaving. The consequences and pain of his decisions began to settle in and Tara’s Father found himself in a very sacred space, filled with Godly sorrow.

 

 

Godly sorrow is recognizing that not only have you betrayed, hurt, and damaged the people who love you most that you claim to love, it goes even deeper… It is the realization one comes to when they realize their choices bearing the fruits of impurity in our mind, body and soul, encompassed in sincere gratitude and sorrow to the very creator of it. When we find ourselves in this space we truly recognize and grab hold of His ever present Love, Mercy and Grace. God loves us in our imperfections and our value to Him is beyond our understanding, that is why His plan included the sacrifice of His beloved and perfect Son Jesus Christ. Jesus came to heal broken things, and if we never accept our brokenness, especially in the middle of our critical mistakes we do not give Him the chance to redeem our souls like He promised He would do.

 

 

Tara’s Father Surrendered… He literally laid down his pride and selfish ways. Enough was enough, he knew that it was his thinking and his choosing that had created his current circumstances and he wasn’t smart enough to fix it, but Jesus Christ is, and He did. Being sorry when we are “busted” or “discovered” is easy, and change most often times will not last for long it we don’t reach a place of Godly Sorrow. he was determined to turn to Jesus Christ, come forward to his wife, and religious leader, and once he did, he felt immediate relief and courage. Today he looks back on the experience and says, “In that moment I decided to give it to God, I felt Him immediately.” The Atonement of Jesus Christ is, all in all, the Gift that was given to Tara, her Father, her Mother and family members was given in a very "ugly package". In her own words Tara explains, “This is the ugliest Gift that has been given to her in her whole life, but “it” has blessed me in so many ways it’s hard to describe. She goes on to exclaim "God gives us weakness and pain to help us distinguish the light from the dark, and without hard experience and suffering we can do nothing to help those that suffer."

 

 

Now years later, Tara’s parents have started a foundation, called SA Lifeline, which provides education and resources to help addicts face their addictions and give them the tools to help them work their way their addiction. 

Tara’s Mom also wrote a book about her own "recovery" called, “What can I do about, Me” to share her story of betrayal, and how she was able to heal from the trauma of being betrayed by someone she loved. If you would like to to read her book, you can find it at their foundations website @ www.salifeline.org or an of the following Deseret Book, Amazon, or Kindle. 

 

 

Tara said of her parents miraculous recovery, “In their brokenness they have been able to shine light to those who suffer and who are in the dark.” What a powerful witness of the reality of Jesus Christ, His divine mission, and the very purpose He came to this earth. He came, so that we experience and the beauty of an imperfect life, full of struggle, failure, pain, grief, and sorrow so that we can truly learn and know the Peace, Joy, Hope, Love, and Happiness that exist perfectly in the character of God. 

 

 

Tara, you are such an incredible person and a light for so many of us that need the hope filled message you have to share. Thank you for sharing you and your families story and fight through the overwhelming battle of addiction. Your parents are amazing, and are examples that our own struggles, mistakes, failures, and weaknesses do not need to continually beat us down, keeping us ashamed of ourselves, rather they are the very gifts given to us that can lead to the doors of opportunity for our greatest experiences, joys, victories, and discovery of personal value. Do not be afraid, only believe!

 

 

To connect with Tara, you can find her on Instagram @churchofjesuschrist_sr_podcast or through the foundation her parents opened at www.salifeline.org