Mary is an adoptee who spent over a decade searching for her biological family. She would eventually connect with her biological mother, but it was not the reunion she had hoped for. Then, Mary received a text message that would change the course of their relationship, and Mary’s world. She shares what it is like growing up adopted, questioning her self-identity, searching for her biological family, finding them, and and so much more.
Topics Discussed:
(0:00) Introductions: Mary tells us about her background, and growing up as an adoptee
(4:00) The Search: Mary began to wonder about her biological mother when she was 18 years old, she began looking for her. She worked with her adoption agency, and used adoption search sites, and eventually found success but not the connection she had longed for.
(15:28) The Text Message: Mary received a text message from her biological mothers significant other informing her that her biological mother was very ill, and they didn't know if she was going to make it. Mary began speaking with her biological mother every day, getting to know her, and her half-brother with eve more surprises coming along the way.
(22:49) Every adoptee has their own journey: Mary talks about the variety of ways that being an adoptee has affected her throughout her life, the difficulties she faced during her search, having children of her own, and how she is healing.
(29:38) Grief: Mary opens up about grieving the loss of her biological mother, and how the grief sneaks up when she least expects it.
(37:53) Two weeks: Mary only got two weeks to get to know her biological mother before she passed away. Mary tells us what they talked about, how their relationship developed, and supporting her half-brother through that loss.
(44:10) Adoptive parents: Mary talks about the support she received from her adoptive family in but how she also wanted to protect them as she searched for her biological family.
(48:54) Mary’s advice: Mary shares her best advice for supporting an adoptee through the journey to find and/or be reunified with their biological family.
About Mary
Mary Herbert is an adoptee and busy mom of four. She has been searching for her biological family for over a decade and when the pandemic hit she also received a text that changed her world. The book she’s writing and services she’s now providing as an Adoptee Doula, an advocate and counselor to other adoptees that may be going through hardships, is a direct result to the past 18 months of her lifelong journey coming to a head. She lives to speak with other adoptees about being an adult adoptee and the trials and tribulations that may come with a realization that adoption is truly a big part of who we are.
Mary can be found @becauseadoption
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