"The scum of the earth....but what fine soldiers we have made them."
The Duke of Wellington
Tune: Mr Bad Example
by Warren Zevon
https://youtu.be/ntLogMHAL64
I’d always been a bully:
From the day I started school
‘Do harm unto others’
Was my golden rule.
To bash defenceless women’s
Been my favourite stress release
Since I became a sergeant
With the great New Zealand Police.
They sent me down to Parliament
To exercise my fists
Running interference
For a gang of communists:
Labour, Greens and National
And ACT — they’re all the same,
And when the war is over
You can hang our heads in shame.
We’d spent a week in Auckland
Learning how to beat the shit
Out of unarmed defenders
— It didn’t hurt a bit!
By Friday night our shirts of blue
Had turned distinctly brown
As we Illuminazis
Learned to kick you when you’re down.
I’m Mr Constabully:
Defender of the dirt.
I’m here to see that only
The innocent get hurt.
I’m Mr Constabully,
A national disgrace:
I got my New World Orders
And I left the human race.
The Wokester said there’s plenty
Of trouble I could make,
With eyes to gouge and skulls to crack
And bones that I could break
And naked ladies’ hair to pull:
I’d bash and push and shove
The bodies of survivors
Calmly chanting “Peace and love!”
Like all Jacindanistas
We pretended we were kind,
Then pepper-sprayed those lepers’ eyes
And rendered them half blind,
Then briefed our infiltrators
To start a fire in tents,
While standing by with hoses
To expose our false pretence.
A. Coster said, “Accost her!
Accost her and her and him!”
And the cost of our accosting
Was unconscionably grim:
Andy cost the reputation
Of every honest plod,
And he calls himself a Christian
Like the Devil thinks he’s God.
And when we’d done our dirty work
They clapped us back to base:
We’d stood up to integrity
And slapped it in the face.
And now I face the mirror,
There’s no further place to hide,
So now you know which side I’m on:
I’m on the genocide.
I’m Mr Constabully:
Defender of the dirt.
I’m here to see that only
The innocent get hurt.
I’m Mr Constabully,
A national disgrace:
I got my New World Orders
And I left the human race.
And when the filth won’t play the game
I’ll improvise instead:
With rugby balls in short supply
I’ll use a young boy’s head.
It’s time to spark a rumpus,
And when they won’t, I will.
I left my moral compass
On that Thorndon hill.