Ditch Overthinking

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: Hello, hello. Welcome to Beyond ADHD, a Physician's Perspective. I am Dr. Deanna Mercado Mar. I'm a family medicine physician practicing in rural Texas. I used to be hindered by my D H D, but I now see it as a gift that helps me show up as the person I was always meant to be. Both in my work and in my personal life.

In the past two years, I've come to realize that unlearning some of my. And some of my habits were just as important as learning the new set of skills.

Well, hello. Hello. I hope y'all are doing well. It's crazy to believe that we are on episode 52. Yes. It's amazing. A whole year of recording the podcast. Um, why am I doing this? Well, because I believe that. , our stories really do matter. Um, a lot of times we don't realize that our self-talk, um, can really affect how we show up.

and how the rest of our day goes. So I've been listening to a book called, called the Soundtracks, and it's so interesting. Uh, he poses three questions, which he says that these three questions you can use to really stop your overthinking. He talks about the fact that, um, we all. Have, you know, some thoughts that are in our mind, and if we really took the time to slow down and ask ourselves these three questions, it could paralyze or overthinking.

So the three questions that he mentions are,

is this really true? The next question is, is this helpful to think about it this way? And then the last question is, is it kind? So let's go through like a story and figure out what I mean by that. So, you know, most of us always think, oh my God, I don't have enough time. And do, is that really true?

are you being really realistic with a number of things? Are are in your to-do list? Are you really choosing to do the things that are a high priority or are you not even aware that you're buffering with that because you are? On purpose, avoiding the other things that maybe would be having more bang for your buck if you did it.

So, you know, when we think we don't have enough time, like your brain does not go into like problem solving mode, , it just goes into like, kind of victim mode and it gets, you know, all stressed and overwhelmed and, and it does not take action. And try to, and try to find a solution, right? So you, you gotta remember that for it to be true, like 12 people from the court of law kind of say, would have to agree that yes, this is true.

Like, you know that you are five two, or that you know you're a female or that you're a male. Like that there would be like, no question about the vi fidelity or like, you know, the, the truthfulness of it, right? Okay, so you ask yourself that first question, so I don't have enough time you tell your, that's maybe not true.

Right. And then the next question is, is it helpful to think that I don't have enough time? Is it really helpful to think that? Probably not. Like, again, we just went through this whole exercise that if we're thinking we're not having enough time, we're not gonna take the necessary steps to. That we do whatever we need to.

We're not gonna ask people for help. We're not going to, um, you know, feel accomplished with whatever we did do. And then the last thing, uh, is. Is it health? Is it kind for me to think this way? You know, maybe you're thinking I don't have enough time and because I don't have enough time, that probably makes me like the worst mom in the world, or that makes me like the worst wife in the world, or that makes me the worst daughter in the world.

Like you can have all kinds of thoughts that not having enough time is maybe preventing you from showing up as like the best version of yourself. And because you're not showing up like that, you're thinking that you. You're horrible. You're not a good human. Or maybe you're thinking you're ashamed that, you know, you have the clothes from all over, um, you know, and you're like, oh my God, I'm not a good mom.

I don't have clothes put away. Like it's a mess. I'm a mess. Like, you're, is it really, I. Kind for you to think that way. Probably not. So it seems silly that those three questions would be, will create such insight. But you know, it, it's good to ask yourself those questions cuz you can really apply 'em anywhere.

Like is it, um, is it true that having h d means that you're broken? Is it true? Is it really true? Um, is it helpful to think that way? Is it kind to think that way? Probably all three don't really add up, right? But yet our brains sometimes have, have thoughts that we don't even like question that we, we don't even.

You know, wonder where that, where that came from? Like, why am I thinking this way? So like today, During our, one of our coaching sessions, we had our guest coach, um, and we were talking about decluttering, which of course, that's a part of my program that I totally love because, you know, each member gets three fr three sessions with my, with my, um, the coach.

And that's so amazing that they're able to then personalize it, whatever they wanna get rid of. But anyways, going off on a tangent, one of my clients said, I'm bad. Uh, you know, I'm bad. The house is a mess. Uh, I actually have to pay somebody to help me, uh, you know, come and organize my house, um, once a month.

And I, I'm bad, I'm bad with that. And so I quickly in the chat, I'm bad is, is not true. It's not helpful and it's not kind. I think. And then I put, um, badass is. True is helpful and is kind like I see her as her being badass, that she knows that this is an area that she has decided she want to, wants to invest in, to try to, um, help herself.

Acquire the tools that maybe she's not where she wants to be, but she, if she keeps thinking that she's bad and therefore she's broken, like that's not helpful at all, and that's not true. Like in my eyes, yes, she's badass, that she has gifted herself this opportunity for learning and growing and figuring that there could be a better way.

Again, you can quickly see how, uh, she then shared that, oh, she was ashamed of all the mess and blah, blah, blah. And I had to point out too that you know, you're not. You're not the mess, the stuff around you is the mess and you, you're separate from the mess. Just like we are separate from our thoughts and we're separate from our emotions.

Like we, we learn to deal with them and question them and try them on and see what fits and what doesn't fit. So we have to keep remembering, you know, that our A D H. is a gift, or it could be a curse. Your brain is going to lead you one way or the other based on what you decide. So again, your self-talk really does matter.

And at the end of the day, like your brain doesn't care. Of course it's programmed to kind of be thinking in the negative, uh, because it's trying to keep us safe. Uh, it's been like that for, you know, thousands of years. If you're too cool, calm and collected, I mean, we would've been eaten by the bear, right?

So, but using gratitude, um, as a way to hack it. Like if every day you wake up and you start your day with like three things that you're grateful for, and it doesn't have to be anything crazy, like it could be that, you know, Your kids are st are, you know, still breathing, that you have food on the table, that you still have a job.

Like you could think about anything that you're grateful for, and then you on purpose decide like, what is your intention for the day? Like, what are 2, 3, 2 or three things that you want to accomplish at the end of the day so that you could say that yes, this was amazing, or, um, at the end of the day, like deciding okay, what went well, you know?

So again, um, how you talk to yourself makes a big difference. If you are always telling yourself you're too slow, you could never change, like you don't have enough time, you don't have enough money, you don't have, you're too big, you're too small, you're whatever, like any. Anything that we are using against ourselves, it's gonna keep us from being who we are.

But anyways, I wanna invite you to come to my, uh, webinar that I'm gonna be having. Um, and you know, on there I'm gonna be talking about how to end procrastination. Um, because yeah, we all can end procrastination. We really can. and you are just a few thoughts away from it, and I want to support you in doing this.

I want you to understand that, uh, being able to, um, be all in on ourselves makes a big difference. So please join me on Saturday, December the 17th. From 11:00 AM to noon, uh, central, go to my webpage, a d h d live coach.com and that way you can sign up for my webinar. But, um, some of you already know my coaching program, uh, right now is $3,000 and.

If you get in, uh, in it now, you know you can reserve your spot for, uh, 2023 when it's actually gonna go up to 4,600. So don't wait. The time is now. The time is now to, uh, gift yourself the gift of time and to start to live and practice medicine in your own terms. Um, You know, uh, continues to happen and growth is really optional.

And so you gotta decide, you know, if you want a different result than what you've had in the previous years, you really gotta re uh, decide to do something different. So why not join my community for you can be a hundred percent fully supported. Come have fun, learn all the tools, all the hacks, and uh, yeah.

Enjoy, uh, you know what's to come. So like I always say, if you just started listening now, , the takeaway point is that there are three questions you should always be asking yourself. And those are I, um, those three questions are, is it true. Is it helpful and is it kind? So yeah, try that and send me a message.

Let me know, uh, what are some things you're working on or what are some things that you would like me to talk about? And, uh, we can, we can be in touch. Thank you for spending your time with me. I really believe that time is your most valuable. Please subscribe to the podcast, share with your colleagues, and don't forget to check out my website@hdlivecoach.com where you can find out about my upcoming coaching group classes, as well as free master classes and other exciting events that are happening.