Marriage, Divorce & Sex - 04

Date 19.03.2023

People of God GREETINGS!

It is another week and we thank and rejoice in the Living God, our Heavenly Father, through the Lord Jesus Christ, for His provision, love, care, and his indwelling peace in us by the Divine Person of the Holy Spirit.

Main Bible Scripture:

Genesis 4 v 25

Other Associated Scriptures: Genesis 1 v 27, Genesis 5 v 2, 1 Corinthians 7 v 1-16, Mark 10 v 2-12, Matthew 22 v 29-30, Hebrews 13 v 4, Galatians 15 v 50, 1 Corinthians 15 v 50, Ephesians 5 v 22 – 33, 1Peter 3 v 1-7, Revelation 19 v 6-9 and so on.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, we thank you for another week of divine health, divine peace, divine provision and divine wisdom and revelation of God, the Father of spirits. We come today, this very hour, in our own accord, to feed our born-again spirit-beings with the rich nutrient of God’s Holy Word. We agree that your Word is the truth. We trust the Holy Spirit to bring the light of God’s Word into our minds and the direction of that Word into our spirits. We trust you, the Lord Jesus Christ, that we will be doers of your Word and not hearers, readers or speakers only.  In Jesus Name. Amen

Theme/Subject: Marriage, Divorce & Sex

Our theme or subject is “Marriage, Divorce & Sex.” This is series 04. 

To get the most out of these teaching series, it is more important that you listen to or read the previous teachings on the subject.

In series 04, we will yield ourselves to the Holy Spirit leading and teaching concerning divorce and sex in the marriage between the husband and his wife.

Regarding divorce, the Holy Written Word of God teaches that there should not be a divorce in the marriage between the believing husband and his believing wife (see Mark 10 v 10-12, 1 Corinthians 7 v 10-11). Should the believing husband and his believing wife maintain their growth in Christ and each putting into practice their respective divine roles and responsibilities in the marriage; divorce is not just a distant word in the marriage but it is none existing word in the marriage (see Ephesians 5 v 22-29, 1Peter 1-7). Brother Thomas – even if there are abuses and cheating in the marriage? Listen and listen well dear child of God in Christ Jesus, abuses and cheating are absent between the believing husband and his believing wife who continue to grow in Christ and put His Word into practice.

Certainly, there are no absence of challenges, tests, trials in the marriage between the believing husband and his wife who grow together in Christ in this world where Satan rules. But know this, Satan rules this world but he cannot rule them who are in Christ Jesus and are growing in Him unless they allow him. But because this believing husband and his believing wife are growing together in Christ, they are now one by love of God which lives in their hearts (spirits) to rise above those challenges. Know this, continuous growth in Christ Jesus dissipates the one flesh but enriches the love of God between the believing husband and his believing wife.

In the Hybrid Marriage however, God accepts divorce only on the condition that the unbeliever decides to pack up and leave (See 1 Corinthians 7 v 12-15).  For the purpose of this teaching I have adopted the phrase “Hybrid Marriage” to mean ‘a believing husband and his unbelieving wife or an unbelieving husband and his believing wife’. Hybrid Marriage is allowed in the church or in the body Christ purely because some saints today came to the Lord Jesus already married to the unbeliever.

However, God’s Word warns His children to avoid Hybrid Marriage at all cost (2Corinthians 6 v 14). Why? For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness and what communion has light with darkness? The believer because of who God has made him or her in Christ Jesus is called righteousness and light (see Ephesians 4 v 24).

Why is divorce allowed in Hybrid Marriage?

The simple answer is that the unbeliever in the Hybrid Marriage is not born-again child of God in Christ Jesus. As a result, God, the Father of spirits is not leading his or her life. Should the unbeliever decide to depart the marriage he or she does so with no conviction or constraint of the love of God which lives in the believer’s spirit or heart. Should she decide to cheat in the marriage; she does so with no conviction of the Spirit of God but of the desire of her flesh. It is also important to note that a born-again child of God who does not grow in Christ can act likewise the marriage between the believing husband and his believing wife. The love of God constrains the child of God (see 2Corinthians 5 v 14).

A true maturing child of God is constrained by the Agape love of God not to just depart from the marriage.  This is not so with the unbeliever. He or she can just leave with no conviction. This is because the unbeliever’s heart or spirit is separated from God, the Father of spirits. The unbeliever is spiritual dead. A true born-again child of will never depart the because love never fails but divorce fails (see 1 Corinthians 13 v 4-8). Divorce fails the other party and it fails the promises the couple made to God and to loved ones. Till death (physical death) do us apart – promised God and their loved ones. Please pause and reflect!

Concerning sex, the marital bed according to God’s Word MUST be kept undefiled or undishonoured (see Hebrews 13 v 4). This applies to all children of God who are married whether in a Hybrid Marriage or in the marriage between the believing husband and his believing wife.  For God will judge fornicators and adulterers or those who cheat or sleeps around in the marriage (see Hebrews 13 v 4).

The marital bed kept undefiled does not only mean do not bring a third party onto your marital bed and have intercourse. But it also means do not defile the marital bed through your Smart Phone screen, through your Tablet screen, through your study room PC screen or through any enticement of sexual pleasure apart from your own wife or husband.   

I am not sure about you but I enjoy sex but only with my wife as a born-again child of God in Christ Jesus. Intercourse between the husband and his wife is God ordained and God approved.

The Word of God teaches this from Genesis 4 v 1 and 25 “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain…………. 25 And Adam knew his wife again and she bore a son and named Him Seth………. Let these words from your heavenly Father stay with you forever -  Adam knew his wife, Eve.

Today, you and I will say it like this– Adam had sex with his wife, Eve. Know this, the only sex God ordains and approves is the sex between the husband and his wife. Adam knew his wife, Eve. It is a simple message but profound – a husband ‘knows’ his wife. The fact that the Holy Written Word of God teaches us today that ‘Adam knew his wife’ which is a direct reference to Adam had sex with his wife not only is an indicative of God’s approval of sex in the marriage between the husband and his wife but it is also a message to all children of God who are not married. God’s teaches that it is better to marry than to burn with (sexual) passion and eventually carve in to that passion due to lack of self-control (see 1 Corinthians 7 v 8-9). Brother Thomas, it is hard to find the right person to marry. This is where many children of God are deceived when preparing to marry. They are out there looking for the right person, that is, the right wife or the right husband. But the Word of God does not say “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother to find the right person (wife).” No! Instead the Word of God teaches that ““For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined together to his wife….” The man leaves his parent control and dwelling to look for a wife not the right wife. The wife looks for a husband not the right husband. The right wife or the right husband comes after the marriage only where both the husband and his wife are committed to grow together in Christ Jesus.

After today, if you, a child of God, is looking to marry, change your prayer from: ‘God, I ask you for the right husband or for the right wife’. That prayer is not based on God’s Word and it will not work. Change that prayer to: ‘Heavenly Father, I am ready to leave my natural father and mother (parents, guardians) and be joined together to my wife, to my husband. I ask the Holy Spirit to lead me to a born-again husband, a born-again wife whom I can grow together with in Christ Jesus after the marriage. In Jesus Name. Amen.’ Please pause and reflect!

God’s Word teaches that because of the temptation to impurity and to avoid immorality let each man has his own wife and let each woman has her own husband (see 1Corinthians 7 v 2).

Sex must never be used as a punishing tool in the marriage. The believing husband must not deny his believing wife sex unless there is a mutual consent for a time. Likewise, the believing wife must not deny her believing husband sex unless there is a mutual consent for a time. This is in order for them to give themselves unhindered together to prayer (see 1Corinthians 7 v 5).  

I wonder why …. the Holy Written Word of God does not teach the believing husband and his believing wife to deny themselves sex if the wife words irritate or offend the husband or if the husband words irritate or offend the wife. I wonder why? The Holy Written Word does not teach that because if the believing husband and his believing wife are growing together in Christ Jesus; their words do not irritate or offend but their words are good for necessary edification which impart grace to each other (see Ephesians 4 v 29). This way, their words edify and impart grace and not lead to denial of intercourse. As a believing husband if your believing wife words irritate you then it is indicative of your failure to put into practice your divine responsibility at home to sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word of God. You are failing in your divine responsibility to present her to yourself a glorious wife, holy, blameless with no corrupt words or any such thing (see Ephesians 5 v 25-29). Likewise, as a believing wife if your believing husband words irritate you then it is indicative of your failure to put into practice your divine responsibility to respect, to support and to honour your husband at home.

Also, I like you to notice that God’s Word does not teach believing husband and his believing wife to stop having sex when they are old physically. According to the Holy Written Word of God, they only time the believing husband and his believing wife abstain from sex is if they mutually agree to devote themselves to prayer for a time.

I am not sure about you but when I engage in sex with my wife as a believing husband; I have noticed that I do function much better the following day. I do smile a lot. I do get involve a lot and I seem happy. I become productive. Glory to God, the Creator knows the importance of sex between the believing husband and his believing wife.

Many times in this life, you meet married people but they seem down, harsh, they are withdrawn, they are tensed, sometimes people in their natural judgement call them racist, unloving, not caring, don’t bother ……and so on. But underneath all that you will find that they all the lack is good sex with the husband or wife.

 I remember three years ago; I was in my office one Monday morning. A manager colleague from the risk department came into my office. He said, “Thomas, do you know that my wife and I have separated?” In my mind, I thought for a minute… is he guy alright? How do I know that they are separated without me living with them in the same house? Moreover, he is not particularly a friend but a work colleague. I eventually asked him: Why have you and your wife separated after twenty-one years of marriage and why telling me this morning? He said Thomas, I know if you meet me at the corridor, you will ask how my family is? That is why I am telling you because I do not want to lie to you in case you ask the question. He then went on and on and eventually he hit the nail on its head. He said, my wife and I have not had sex for a year now. All of a sudden, I understood why this chap was so mean and difficult in dealing with other colleagues.  But after that conversation; I knew that all he needs to do to get himself out of the mess he was in was to go to his wife to apologise and to really have good sex with her. I advised him to go back to his wife and enjoy marriage. God desires that the believing husband and his believing wife enjoy sex in the marriage because it is good for them. Also, the believing person in a hybrid marriage should enjoy sex with the unbelieving husband or wife.

Sex between the husband and his wife is God ordained and God approved and it must be enjoyed in the marriage. It should be talked about at home accordingly. Our children should be raised to know that daddy and mummy appreciate one another as husband and wife. Kiss your wife or husband in front of your child(ren) accordingly for them to know that it is right for daddy and mummy to kiss. Do not leave that task for TV actors or actresses. Hold your wife hand in front of your children to teach them that it is alright for the husband to hold his wife. Do not leave that teaching for YouTube channel and so on. Please pause and reflect!

Regarding sex between the husband and his wife; let us address this concern. This is the concern: Brother Thomas, I am getting old so I cannot satisfy my wife or husband as I used to. Know this, God’s Word teaches children of God in 2 Corinthians 4 v 16 which reads “Therefore, we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing (decaying, growing old), yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.” The outward man is your body the house that you, the inner man – your spirit lives. Therefore, it is true that as we grow older our natural strength decays gradually but for believers the Word of God teaches us a way out. Especially when it comes to drawing the strength to have intercourse with your wife or with your husband. The way out is this, in Colossians 3 v 17A teaches this: “And whatever you do, in word or indeed (in action), do all in the Name of Jesus……” I will not be surprise that many few believing husbands and their believing wives have sex in the Name of Jesus. Believing husband after today enjoy sex with your believing wife in the Name of Jesus. Believing wife after today enjoy sex with your believing husband in the Name of Jesus. Believing husband after today enjoy sex with your unbelieving wife in the Name of Jesus in a hybrid marriage.

Believing wife after today enjoy sex with your unbelieving husband in the Name of Jesus in a hybrid marriage “Do and say all in the Name of Jesus”

Sex between the husband and his wife is God ordained and God approved and it is to be enjoyed, it is to be revered, it is to be done in the Name of Jesus.  

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father in Christ Jesus we thank you for your incorruptible living Word, that Word has come to us, help us to be doers thereof. In Jesus Name. Amen. To God be the glory forever and ever in Jesus Name by the power of the Holy Spirit. I know that you are blessed by these teachings, why don’t you share them with others to be blessed also? It is also important to get your feedback and how together, through these teachings we are growing in faith in God’s Holy Written Word.     By: Bro Thomas Boakye