Do you acknowledge the choices you have? You may not always have the choices that you wish you had, but you always have a choice. Today Cinthia discussed what it means to take ownership of your life and the choices you have. Acknowledging your own choices means giving up the option to blame others for the entire direction of your life (although it does not mean accepting blame for things that were not your fault -- In fact, sometimes one of the choices you have is whether to accept and affirm that someone else’s choice was not your fault, however deeply it may have impacted you.). Even people in very tragic situations (e.g., POWs) have choices within their situations, though those choices may be more limited. Victor Frankl wrote about his experiences in German concentration camps; he observed that prisoners who chose to accept their situations but also find meaning in their suffering were more likely to survive the experience. They chose not to accept full victimhood by owning the choices that were theirs; they did not fully surrender their internal freedoms, even when their outward freedoms were horribly taken away and their mental states were affected.
When you choose to abdicate your own choices to others, this is also a choice. For example, do you abdicate your mood to others, to society, etc.? Think of all the choices you have in one day. How many do you abdicate?
Cinthia discussed the “Wise Choice Process” which involves using a template for the decision-making process. What is your decision-making process? How do you choose? One example has the following steps, which Cinthia illustrated with an example from her own life (i.e., deciding what to do about her anorexia when she was younger):
Cinthia discussed Adam and Eve as the human beings to make choices. God gave them choices, allowing them free will. Adam knew what he was doing even though he could not fully comprehend the outcome. But God also made choices in response to their choices. As Cinthia says, “We fell to hell, and God stopped the drop.” He could have let it go, leaving us to our own destruction, but He did not. Meanwhile, Adam’s sin brought fear, the first negative feeling. We were not originally designed for negative feelings. God also experienced negative feelings in response to our choices, but He was willing to accept different feelings to be in relationship with us, much like parents are willing to feel feelings to have their children and be in relationship with them. Adam’s choice brought knowledge. Knowledge is what brings fear and shame. However, God continued to offer them the opportunity to make good choices with their knowledge. Consider Deuteronomy 30:15-20. He offers us life and death. Sometimes our choices do not lead to immediate physical death but to the death of other things, like the dreams God has for us. We need to repent when we choose death, taking responsibility for our choices and turning instead to God. We can use our free will to submit our self-will to God’s will so that He can undo the damage of our sin. Consider also Ephesians 4:21-24.
Another decision-making model involves the following questions:
You can use your choices to pursue the dreams God has for you, the purposes for which He made you. Sometimes our mistakes are just as valuable as our good decisions if they help us make better choices in the future. You always have a choice and, therefore, have a lot more power than you may give yourself credit for. Nobody really wants to change. Actually doing it, however imperfectly, is something to be proud of. It is owning your own life, and your life is a gift.
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