Episode #122- Pain When Things Are Good

Pain when things are good is a phenomenon I see when people are unlearning pain and learning to regulate their nervous systems.

 

When you're used to being in high alert, then letting your guard down and feeling safe can actually seem dangerous.

 

We can expand our ability to stay in the "rest and repair state" longer, but some people have learned resting is "lazy" or having fun is "selfish".

 

Watch for this in yourself- if your symptoms come in a time of more calm or peace, don't worry!  

 

This is actually a sign your nervous system is EXPANDING. 

 

The rest and repair state can become more normal for you than survival mode, but the nervous system has to go through growth to get there.

 

If you are looking to support your growth in a loving, fun and nurturing community, check out Alignment Oasis and the specials I have going on now:

https://www.bodyandmindlifecoach.com/alignment-oasis

 

For fresh content on healing chronic pain or disease, follow Betsy

on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodyandmindlifecoach/

 

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXZSYYGL2cfJl-oEOzqspA

 

Website https://bodyandmindlifecoach.com

 

Transcript- Automatically Generated:

This is Betsy Jensen and you are listening to Unstoppable Body and Mind, Episode 122, Pain When Things Are Good. In this podcast, we learn to upgrade our brain and understand the power of our thoughts, to heal and to create the results we want in our life. Become the person in control of your healing and make peace with your life.
Become unstoppable body and mind. Hello, my loves. I wanted to record this episode because this is a phenomenon that I see a lot.
As people are healing, making new neural pathways, rewiring, regulating their nervous system, it can actually feel unsafe in a way to just let your guard down and feel good. So if you think about the nervous system states, the rest and repair state, the parasympathetic calm state, that state is when you trust and feel okay about things, and things are going to work out, and you're not on high alert. But if you're used to being on high alert, being in the calm state can feel dangerous.
And that's what I want to talk about. I actually experienced that over Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was actually my birthday this year.
And so it was a really, really fun weekend, basically. The Wednesday, the night before, I had my birthday dance. Actually, during the day, some friends helped me get this couch that I really wanted, and they moved it into my house, and it's in awesome condition, and it's so soft, and I just felt so grateful.
I got spoiled all day Wednesday. And then Thursday was Thanksgiving, my actual birthday, and we had a great get together with my family, and some really good times, and people were celebrating me there. And then that night, I started getting some anxious thoughts, some familiar stomach symptoms, discomfort.
And it would be easy to say like, oh, I just had Thanksgiving dinner, that's why my stomach is upset. But what really tipped me off were the kind of thoughts that I was having. I started kind of having these ruminating thoughts.
I was actually thinking of that couch that I had gotten the day before. And there was another one on the Facebook Marketplace that I thought might have been slightly better. So I was regretting my decision about that couch.
I had recently helped purchase a car for my daughter, like a used car, and then it had mechanical problems right off the bat within the first week. And so I was, you know, questioning my judgment. And the biggest tip off though for me was I was having these thoughts like, what if mind-body stuff isn't true?
What if what I'm teaching, you know, doesn't actually work and doesn't help people? And that's when I was like, okay, brain, what's going on? I think what had happened was I'd seen someone in my family like rubbing their shoulder and talking about getting an injection.
And it was from across the room. I wasn't part of the conversation. But, you know, as a physical therapist before this, a lot of times they would ask me about my opinion.
And I just, I think everything basically was going so well in my life, feeling really loved, appreciated, adored, taken care of. And I started just worrying about things that didn't even really make sense. So even though, you know, I've had so much success myself in my life, it's changed my life, to have this mind-body perspective and to understand things and change things in my life so I could feel better.
And I know it's happened for so many of my clients and, you know, hundreds and thousands of other people that also use these methods that other people have worked with. Like, of course, this mind-body stuff works. And so I think my high alert system was just looking for something to worry about.
Kind of like I haven't been worrying about something for a while, and it doesn't really feel safe to just feel this good for this long without starting to worry about things. Can you guys relate? Does this sound familiar?
Part of the reason this happens is this is just how the nervous system changes. Over time, there's an expand and then contract. So when I was feeling good for a few days, it was like an expansion, and then the nervous system kicks in.
Hey, are we still safe? Let's worry about this. And then I can expand and contract.
So you don't always have to be improving. In fact, this is just the sign that your nervous system is growing. The rewiring is working.
Subconsciously, my nervous system is still always going to be scanning possible dangers. So for me, when I was having those GI symptoms, I quickly related it to the kinds of thoughts and worries that were coming up. I could really see that there were some thoughts that were out of the ordinary for me to think.
And I also did take a peppermint pill because generally that does help soothe my stomach and indigestion and gassiness and all that. So for you guys who are wondering, when you do have actual physical symptoms caused by your brain and nervous system, you can choose how to react, but your brain doesn't have to do all the work. I think as long as you're acknowledging, yes, I can see that this has a mind-body component.
Oh, I'm stressed in this way. This makes sense. Then you can still use things that feel appropriate to help with some physical soothing.
So you might take a bath or use a heating pad or take some medicine. Those things are okay. And you can still rewire your brain to realize this is a stress response.
And when I just soothe myself or mind myself, it's okay. And work on stretching out those times and feeling better more and more of the time and trusting that it's okay to feel in this calm, safe state more and more of the time. Your nervous system will expand.
The rest and repair state can become more of your normal state, and you'll have less body symptoms and pain. Here are some of my clients in Alignment Academy talking about just this.
I feel like my basal stress level is lower than it has been in five years since all the things started. And so that's huge.
I feel like I've been just winning all over the place lately with regards to my pain and my body and all of that. I just keep like cluing in to when I'm not having pain, which is more often than not the case, I'm starting to really try to think like, am I feeling safe? You know, really trying to clue into that feeling of safety.
And I just I keep noticing it over and over again. So maybe that's part of the reason or the reason why my pain has just been so much less.
I have something amazing that happened. I had a high school reunion event. I have all these diet restrictions and trouble eating things.
And I went there and had so much fun and was able to eat all the stuff. I didn't have pain. Like normally the thing that I always fear is like the heartburn, the pain, like, you know, severe pain in my stomach.
And I didn't have like any of that.
Amazing. If you are looking for a community of support for similar people focused on wellness, please look into Alignment Academy. And actually, depending on when you listen to this, at the first of next year, Alignment Academy is getting a makeover.
My new program will have all the same content, but it's called Alignment Oasis, an online wellness retreat for body and mind. Instead of having a feel like learning an academy and more work, I know that everyone already has a lot of work. It might not sound relaxing to come to a program and have a lot of homework and things to do, but for Alignment Oasis, we'll have just the same material to cover with an emphasis on fun.
So instead of a workbook, there'll be a playbook. It'll have games and activities and a lot of guidance. If you are not sure where you are on this journey, what activities to start with and where to start, that's best for you.
Maybe you've tried it on your own, and you see how having some support and community could help. Or maybe you've tried other groups and didn't get the results you wanted. Chances are you've tried a lot of things to help with your healing, and I understand it can be frustrating to think of another option.
And what if it doesn't work? In Alignment Oasis, I'll help you feel more relaxed when you come to coaching calls. You'll learn so many tools and ideas for soothing your nervous system and calming.
It'll be like going to a beach resort that you can access from your own home. When learning is combined with play, the brain learns so much quicker. In fact, scientists have discovered it takes about 400 repetitions to create new synapses in the brain, unless it's done in play, in which case it only takes 10 to 20 repetitions.
When you're unlearning pain and learning to regulate your nervous system, play helps by not just telling your nervous system that you're safe, but actually showing it. So check out the link in my show notes. I have some special introductory pricing going on for Alignment Oasis.
Hope to see you there. Thanks guys. Have a good week.
Bye. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned a little bit about your brain today that helps you in your life like it helped me.
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