Relationship Level Ups - 317

Relationships go through predictable stages. Each stage builds upon the previous one. Are there 4 stages, five, or seven? This all depends on which particular website or expert you check with. For the purposes of this episode, we will assume there are 4 stages, or levels.

The first stage is the initial meeting and attraction. A significant aspect of this stage is the role of hormones like dopamine and oxytocin. Dopamine, often dubbed the ‘feel-good hormone’, creates feelings of euphoria, craving, and motivation, which are typically associated with the early stages of romantic attraction. Oxytocin, frequently referred to as the ‘love hormone’, fosters feelings of attachment and deepens the emotional bond between partners, especially during intimate moments.

Level 2 is the infatuation or romance stage. Infatuation is “foolish” in that we can only see our partner’s light side. We’re in complete denial of their dark side. Early attraction often involves the physical attributes of the potential partner, and include things like outward appearance, body type, interests and personality traits. At this stage, the attraction may not be too “deep” and each half of a couple is generally putting his or her best foot forward.

Stage 3 is the enlightenment or stability level. Couples often go “deeper” in their connection. Trust is stronger and more intimacies may be shared at this next stage as couples take away some of their “best face” and allow themselves to act more naturally and relaxed. As intimacy develops between the two people, more self-disclosure emerges, both verbally and nonverbally as couples act in ways that are more like how they are in their daily life.

Level 4 is the commitment stage. At this stage in a relationship, couples should have a good understanding of their partner’s values, lifestyle, and goals for the future. You’ve learned to love each other by having to like each other. You choose each other consciously.

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