132. The Short-Term Benefits and Long-Term Cost of People-Pleasing in Your Life and Leadership

Today I am speaking to my dear Sister Friends who have or do struggle with people-pleasing. You may not even know that you are a people-pleaser.

 

Tell me if this sounds familiar:  You are one of those really nice people who is seen as so helpful and kind.   It makes you feel good to make someone else happy, to brighten their day.   You try to seek and preserve harmony in your relationships, and you often put others before yourself.   People probably refer to you as someone who is reliable, someone they can count on…you are a “real team player”.   If someone needs something, you are there to lend a hand, almost always saying “yes” in response to a request or perceived need.   So far…this sounds pretty good… it probably works out pretty well for you and you are seen as a “nice” person, right?  People tend to like you…win, win!

 

Well….  Hold up.   It doesn’t stop there.  Is this life really all sunshine and roses, rainbows and unicorns?   Probably not.   Not only do you try to please people or gain their approval, but you feel anxious and guilty when you can’t.  You perseverate when you perceive that someone might be upset with you, and you fear the disapproval of others.  You absolutely hate conflict and do everything you can to avoid causing trouble.  To think that someone might be angry at you is downright disastrous…enough to make you want to throw up.  

 

Today we are talking about some of the benefits you probably experience, at least in the short term, and more importantly, the long-term cost of being a people-pleaser. 

 

Key Highlights:

• Signs and symptoms of people-pleasing
• Causes of people-pleasing
• Long-term cost of people-pleasing
• Implications on leadership
• How to stop people-pleasing

 

I hope this episode blesses you!

Xoxo,

Tanya

 

Episode Resources:

 

Episode #131: Two Proven and Powerful Tools to Decide What No Longer Belongs on Your “Should Do” List.

Episode #112: Setting Boundaries and Saying "No" as a Busy Professional Woman.

 

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