How to Practice Compassion with Aundi Kolber

Hey friend! Does it ever feel like you’re living in survival mode? You know that feeling where you find yourself constantly saying, “if I can just get through one more day, things will be better”? I know I have!

But what does it really take to move out of survival mode? How do we find a place a safety and compassion for ourselves (and others) as we process and move past what we’ve been through?

Trauma-informed therapist Aundi Kolber joins me on the show today to tackle those questions and more! 

Aundi is a licensed professional counselor, and while we can’t all be her clients, we can all access the wisdom she shares in her two books, Try Softer and Strong Like Water. 

This is a rich conversation about emotional health, and I’m so excited to share it with you. 

Join in as we talk about: 

• How the last three years have affected all of us (and why it makes sense if you’re not “over it”)

• Steps we can take to build safety in ourselves, with each other, and in our spaces like churches and schools

• The surprising way compassion impacts our nervous system

• The different styles of attachment, and why “good enough” parenting really is good enough 

Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor and author of two books, including her most recent, Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things–and Experience True Flourishing. Aundi lives with her family in Castle Rock, CO. 

Favorite quotes:

~“Trauma is anything that overwhelms our nervous system's capacity to cope.”

~“How we experience is something at least as important as the event itself.”

~“Getting yourself outside is a great place to do grounding. Nature is so soothing to us and really regulating to our nervous system.”

~“We are designed for more. Both our fierceness and softness are God-given.”

~“Our relationship with ourselves is influenced by our attachment style.”

~“Secure relationships have an internal sense of predictability that when you have needs others around who care for you will do their best to meet their needs to the extent they are able.”

~“One way to begin is to become aware of our attachment style.”

Coaching this week: 

1. Bundling Friend Time: Getting enough friend time, especially during busy seasons. (38:15)

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Aundi Kolber Website 

• Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things–and Experience True Flourishing

• Aundi Kolber Instagram

• Aundi Kolber Twitter

• Slow - JOHNNYSWIM

• Ted Lasso

• How to Keep House While Drowning - KC Davis

• Creed 3

• Benefit Fluff Up Brow Wax

Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli