THE SPOTLIGHT EFFECT...

This week I want to talk to you about 'The Spotlight Effect', which is the tendency for people to overestimate how much attention other people are paying to them in social situations than they actually are. 

We all have moments in life where we feel like everyone seems to be watching and judging us. We therefore feel that we're always somehow in the spotlight, even though we're not really the centre of attention as we may think. 

In reality, most other people are usually too focused on themselves to notice what we're doing and our insecurities and anxieties are completely unfounded.

Understanding ‘The Spotlight Effect’ therefore should help us feel more at ease, as it's a reminder that we're all human and we all have these insecurities and anxieties. 

Here are some examples:

- Imagine you're at a party and you spill some drink on your top. You immediately feel embarrassed and think that everyone is staring at you and judging you. However, in reality, most people probably won't even notice, or if they did, they usually quickly forget about it.
- Imagine you're out walking or running, but you suddenly trip and fall in front of people. You immediately feel mortified and assume that everyone is laughing at you. However, in reality, most people probably actually feel some sympathy for you and quickly move on with their day.
- Imagine that you're giving a speech or presentation and you stumble over your words. You may start to feel self-conscious and worry that people think less of you. But, in reality, they are actually likely to be more focused on what you are talking about, rather than any mistakes you may make.

But while, in most cases, people do not notice or quickly forget embarrassing moments, we are also social beings, so we naturally observe things around us. Ignoring feelings of embarrassment hinders personal growth, as learning from experiences helps us build resilience, so you must strike a balance.

So, remember that you're not under a spotlight all the time and you're just living your life like everyone else every day. And next time you feel like everybody's eyes are on you, remember that most people are probably too caught up in their own thoughts to even notice you, so don't be too hard on yourself!