The Counselor is a film with a top rated cast and a bottom shelf script. Starring alongside Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz, Michael Fassbender plays the eponymous counselor, a lawyer who gets caught up in... something... bad? We're still not really sure. When the deal goes bad, Bardem, Pitt, and Fassbender find themselves in the crosshairs of the Cartel. Some people make some ridiculous speeches, and Cameron Diaz workshops a few accents. That's the closest I can come to giving a synopsis of this mess. Grab your pet leopards, wash your windshield, and join us as we make a snuff film out of The Counselor!