The shark rides the dragon onwards, ever onwards! This week in our romp through A Song of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin, we've got the many faces of the Artist Formerly Known As Theon Greyjoy, a heroic effort from Jon Snow to piss off literally everybody who works for him, and the worst cooking practice in the history of naval cuisine. Also witticisms, attempted witticisms, and jokes that didn't fall flat on their faces, you're just not smart enough to get them. As always, get in touch with your thoughts, schemes, ideas, fan theories and lurve: you're the best. Twitter @sharkliveroil, email firstname.lastname@example.org.