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Health:Self-Help
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Fear – Why is it there in the first place? Where does it come from? Why do we have it?
Fear is something that is good for us because it is our nervous system or sensory system in our body telling us, “Hey, are you prepared or are you ready for what’s about to happen?” When did this occur? If you go back to caveman days, let us say I am a caveman and I want to use the bathroom, I am about to go out then I think of my spear – do I need it or not? I am just going to the bathroom. I left it there and went to my favorite tree. Then as I do my “business” the bush next to me suddenly shakes. And what happens in that moment is that the “fight or flight” kicks in and the reptilian part of our brain takes over and this means our heart beats faster, sugar is released in our body so that we can move quickly, our adrenaline spikes, we become little bit tense, our pupils dilate, we can take in as much information as possible and move on it very rapidly. The point is, if something with large teeth is in the bush and about to pounce on us, we can get out there fast. Why? Because my body is asking me if I am prepared with what is about to happen. If I am not, it says, “Run!!!!” If I am it says, “Fight it!”
Reverse the scenario: we are heading out of the cave, we look and see our spear and say, “I am going to take it just in case.” I cruise over, have it in my hand, doing my thing, trying to relax. The big bush shakes. Now what happens, my heart beat starts racing, I get sweaty palms, I get butterflies in my stomach. Why? Because I am excited! Hopefully, it is dinner!
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What is the difference? It is not the biological response. People assume that if I have my spear with me, I will be calm and peaceful the whole time. That is not true. I’ve heard it said that the difference between fear and excitement is anticipating something in the future, looking at an event that is about to happen and FEAR is thinking about what could go WRONG with this event. EXCITEMENT is thinking about what could go RIGHT with this event.
This is something that you have to train yourself to do. Your brain doesn’t automatically make this stuff up, it doesn’t automatically go to what’s right or what’s wrong. According to research, we have 60,000 thoughts a day. 95% of those thoughts are usually the same day to day. 80% of those thoughts are negative, according to scientific research, in the way people think. That means if your brain is searching for what could go wrong, you have to purposely challenge yourself to focus on what could go right. All that means is catching yourself in the moment when your brain goes “what could go wrong?” Wait a minute, breathe first, count to 5, clear your mind and then say: What could go right in this situation? That is a simple little shift.
The other thing you could do is think about an event that might give you anxiety or fear and just ask yourself: What key things have to happen for me to feel 100% totally prepared for what’s about to happen? If you are able to do those things, the fear should subside and you should be totally confident because you have done the homework.
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