s02e04 - Playing Big, for girls who want to play ball in the big league
Vanessa asked us the question: How can I learn to speak up without being worried I hurt people's feelings OR they think I'm stupid?
Short summary of our answers:
You are not serving anyone by keeping your ideas and thoughts to yourself. You have an opinion or perspective based on your observations and arguments, you can argue your point and you should.
Even though feelings are irrelevant in case of constructive criticism and feedback, I know it doesn't seem that way. But you know what? Tough. You have an opinion/something to say, and you should say it. Sometimes people's feelings need to be hurt.
Read Playing Big, and focus on the chapter of Unhooking from Praise & Criticism. It doesn't matter all that much what your coworkers think of you. Do your best work, receive feedback but don't be dependent on praise or criticism.
The fear of being stupid is holding you back, the way it often holds me and many other people back. You're not stupid (and it doesn't matter all that much if people think you are.)
Josianne asked: What is your biggest life lesson or mottos?
Lianne: I don't really have one particular one, I work more in themes. Mine change depending on what period of my life I am, what I am working on, what I am devoting my energy on at that time. Right now, it's that I need to surrender to what is happening in my life, trust the pace instead of trying to race ahead.
Andrew: Dance through life is a recurring one. Whenever something is scary or slippery or I am going through something, I remind myself I just need to dance through it. That way I am most myself and find my way.
Do you have a question for us?
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Tweet at us with the #selfhelphipsterpodcast hashtag (mine and Andrew's)
Comment on our Instagrams (mine and Andrew's)
Please God don't let us just yell into the void. Interact with us.
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Playing Big by Tara Mohr. You can buy the Bol.com ebook for 9.49 here*, the English paperback for 9.99* and the Kindle version here for 7.49*.
*Affiliate links! Small percentages of commission when you buy via these links!
POP CULTURE PLEASURES
Lianne: Laadscherm! A new gaming website that I am so stoked about is coming. It seems like it's going to be a super cool in-depth online platform for stories on gaming. Lord knows I am only capable of point-and-click adventures and some bouts of Sims 4 obsession, but I am interested in game culture, hacker culture and other people's experiences gaming. I follow Laadscherm one of the creators and one of the writers on Twitter.
Andrew: Ed Sheeran's new album, Divide! Ed Sheeran is a BOSS. I love reading up on artists that I love and you can read on his Wikipedia about how he crashed on Jamie Foxx's couch while in the US, performing.
Lianne: LOOK AT HUH. The Hey Queen aftershow where drag queens have to look at pictures of fellow drag queens and comment. Pretty much all my favourite drag queens have been on. I LIVE.
Andrew: Flying, because Andrew is a HUGE pilot-o-phile!
Andrew: Stealth urban van camping/van dwelling.
Reinvent yourself by James Altucher, who also has an amazing podcast!
It's LITERALLY 2$ on Amazon right now, GO BUY IT.
It is Free