For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was “the gasoline of all adventure.” She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as a strong, enlightened twenty-first-century woman.
But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should be. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy? She apologized for things she couldn’t remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin. Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.
A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, BLACKOUT is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure — the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent or struggled in the face of necessary change. It’s about giving up the thing you cherish most — but getting yourself back in return.
Meredith Atwood's Sobriety Story
In December of 2015, I decided that I would never drink again.
The story of alcohol struggles is one that is not told often, and if it is told, I am not sure it’s told very honestly (or well).
I think the shame and the barriers to discussing struggles with addiction should be destroyed, and obliterated, so that anyone (ANYONE!) who needs help will have it – and have it with LOVE and SUPPORT.
Through my work, I am seeking to break down the shame, the barriers, and the negative associations with taking a stand, grabbing our power, and deciding to be sober people.
In April 2017, I created the online support community called “Grateful Sobriety.”
Who is welcome? YOU are if you:
- want to stop drinking;
- think you need to stop drinking;
- have years of sobriety under your belt and love the support;
- are stubborn and scared about your drinking;
- know someone who you want to support in their quitting drinking; or
- just want to give back to your community with your gifts of counseling expertise or sobriety.
Go to GratefulSobriety.com to learn more.
For those of you who might be struggling, please feel free to reach out or get help, and ask for help. I’m also here if you want to chat or confess or just need someone to talk to. And I really do mean that.
The Podcast on Social:
Producer: Carl Stover Music
Host: Meredith Atwood
Copyright 2017, Meredith Atwood, LLC