HOW TO MARRY YOUR ENEMY AND LAUGH YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS: WITH BOB ECKSTEIN, NY TIMES BESTSELLING CARTOONIST AND HUMORIST

In a world of turmoil and strife, we need more laughter in our lives and our relationships.  Married couples who laugh together tend to stay together and are happier. Moreover, it’s possible to marry your enemy and keep the joy alive. These are some of the fun and fascinating tidbits we learned on Love University from our good friend, Bob Eckstein (bobeckstein.com), award-winning illustrator and cartoonist (“All’s Fair in Love and War”).  Bob brightened our day and enlightened us on how to bring more laughter, joy, and love into our everyday life. Here is what we learned:

 

*Humor is a turn-on.  Research shows that women are more attracted, and have more sexual satisfaction, when they’re with men who make them laugh. Moreover, when wives used humor in the relationship, and it lowered their husband’s heart rate, their marriage had more stability and satisfaction. Also, the key is not whether the couple share the same type of humor (slapstick, wordplay), but whether they create humor together through their shared life experiences. Overall, humor is seen as a sign of intelligence, creativity, and fun—making the humorous person a more attractive and desirable mate. Santa Claus was reaching for his wife in bed, and she said: “Take a shower first; you smell like chimney.”

 

*Humor gives us perspective.  When you are hurting and in pain, humor and laughter can be the balm that soothes you.  Taking a difficult and painful situation, and turning it on its head, gives you the comforting feeling that “Everything will be OK.”  Research shows that wartime survivors with a sense of humor report lower levels of PTSD after experiencing wartime trauma. Also, singles who suffer from dating difficulties can have a good laugh and feel better about their experiences.  Two panda bears were in a room together—one said to another: “Look, until there’s a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists.”

 

*Look for the inner beauty.  When Bob was in school, he was in art class with a young lady who was very competitive with him.  He says they were competitive enemies and couldn’t stand each other. Twelve years later, they were invited by mutual friends to a funeral, and they fell in love and eloped. The turning point, says Bob, was when he saw her good heart—she volunteered for “Meals on Wheels” –a program bringing meals to people who need them. Her inner beauty is what sealed the deal. When it comes to choosing a potential friend or love partner, therefore, it’s a good idea to place importance on their inner goodness—compassion, optimism, kindness—more than their surface charm or looks. Their inner qualities are what will last in a long-term friendship or love partnership. One snail was talking to another as they looked at a tape dispenser.  The snail said: “I know she’s a tape dispenser, but I love her.”

 

 

Things can’t get any worse but they can get funnier.  Laughter is contagious and uplifting.  You can walk into a room full of gloomy people, and if you can make them laugh, they will be grateful to you. To sharpen your funny bone, keep a funny notebook.  Write down things that bug you or make you curious about people, and turn it into a humorous joke or story.  Watch funny videos, shows, movies, or stand-up by yourself (or with your love partner), and note the things that make you laugh. Practice your humor with your love partner and close friends and family members. Then, try it out with acquaintances and even strangers. Have a “Laughter Party” in which you get a group of friends together and just start laughing for no reason. Do it for about 5-10 minutes and you will see an immediate uplift of everyone’s mood. You don’t need a reason to laugh—just laugh. Research shows that you release pleasure brain chemicals (dopamine) when you laugh, even if there’s nothing particularly funny to laugh at.  Two rats are speaking to an auditorium with hundreds of rats.  One of them says, “Your father and I have decided to explain why we’ve decided to part.”  Imagine the child support for all of them.

 

Remember to laugh and look at the humorous side of life every day.  Doing so will elevate your mood, make you sexier and more attractive, and improve your relationships.  Best of all, laughter and humor is a great gift you can give to yourself and others—the comforting feeling that “Life will be just fine. I can make it through this.”  After all, the timeless phrase is true:  “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.”

 

Note: All humor excerpted from Bob Eckstein’s (editor) “All’s Fair in Love and War: The Ultimate Cartoon Book” (Princeton Architectural Press, 2020)