The Simply Great Relationships Podcast: Love | Marriage | Sex | Communication | Dating Advice
Society & Culture:Relationships
You know the deal. Something happens that is frustrating or hurtful, so you approach your partner to let them know. You tell them what happened and a better way to do it in the future, so you don’t end up feeling hurt. But, all you hear is:
“I didn’t do that! And, anyway, you do that all the time.”
“What about last week when I ask you not to _______?”
“I only did it that way because you _______!”
Sound familiar?
When this dynamic is sustained over a long period of time, it can lead to something called “pre-emptive defensiveness.” That sounds a little something like this:
“Hey, what’s for dinner tonight?”
“Oh, so I’m just supposed to cook for you every night and I bet you expect the food to be on the table when you walk in the door?!”
Whoa.
Ever been blown away for asking what you thought was a neutral question? If so, you’ve got a case of pre-emptive defensiveness.
If you’re struggling with defensiveness in your relationship, you’re going to want to join us for our livestream on Facebook and Instagram this Monday, September 9th at 7:30pm EST. We’re going deeper on this topic and answering YOUR questions! If you’d like to submit a question ahead of time, you can do so by clicking here.
We hope to see you there!
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SGR 102: Mindful Relationships with Sarah Harmon
SGR 101: Overcoming Shame and Using Porn as a Tool to Enhance Sex
SGR 100: Communication that Works 2.0
SGR 099: How Our Inner Child Shows Up In Relationships with Saadia Z. Yunus, LMFT
SGR 098: 5 Questions You Wish Your Couples Therapist Would Answer
SGR 097: 3 Marriage Tips from a Couples Therapist and her Husband with Stranz and Mallory Wolfgramm
SGR 096: Sharing the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip
SGR 095: Integrating Sexual Fantasies into Your Relationship with Dr. Justin Lehmiller
SGR 094: Making Marriage Work from the Beginning with Kayla Levin
SGR 093: 3 Common Relationship Problems (That Aren’t Actually Problems)
SGR 092: How to Know if You’re Codependent with Marlena Tillhon, MSc
SGR 091: The Truth Behind “You’re Just Like Your Mother”
SGR 090: What Your Attachment Style Means with Katie Miles, LMFT
SGR 089: What To Do When You Have a Lot of Time Together and No Shared Hobbies
SGR 088: Why Asking Your Partner How They’re Doing is Extra Important Right Now
SGR 087: Navigating Differing Views on COVID-19 Guidance in Your Family
SGR 086: How to Make Changes Without Motivation
SGR 085: How You and Your Partner Can Take a Break from the Heaviness of COVID-19
SGR 084: Coping with Opposite Sex Drives During Coronavirus
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