Hi and welcome to episode 153 of The Couples Expert with your host The Couples Expert Stuart Fensterheim. Stuart brings you a topic that he’s had come up lately in his counseling practice: The idea that your sex life is not a porno movie. Are your expectations about sex with your partner realistic or do you expect your sex life to be like a porno movie?
Listen as Stuart discusses sexuality and expectations on today’s Couples Expert podcast.
Even the Couples Expert has expectations about sexuality that may not be realistic. Sex is affected by all sorts of outside circumstances: aging, our physical limitations and our expectations can be completely different from what normal healthy sexuality is in a long term relationship.
What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:
The sex industry is huge, you can find anything you want to see 3:08 Sex addiction is rampant and rivals any hard drug 4:00 How is porn affecting your relationship? 5:14 The gender divide in how porn is viewed 7:29 We have to realize it’s not always fireworks and mind blowing sex 11:40 Porn actors are not real people! 15:00 Porn sex vs. Real sex on YouTube link below 16:50It’s great if you want to watch porn together and talk about it. Note the things that excite you and things you want to try. It’s all about what you both want. You both get to choose what the rules are. If your partner doesn’t feel comfortable trying something then you need to respect that.
Whatever your choices are, you both have to agree. IF your partner is into porn and you’re not comfortable with that you need to discuss it. If you can be open-minded about having a fantasy life and role playing or trying new things you just might broaden your horizons and spice up your intimate life. There’s nothing wrong with you and your partner experiencing new things sexually and being adventurous, just make sure that you both are okay with it.
Avoid being secretive or indulging in sex acts or porn fantasies that your partner doesn’t participate or is not aware of. This is venturing into infidelity and betrayal. Both of you have to be open and honest about what you’re doing sexually.
Sex addiction is no joke. If it’s an issue get help for the addiction before you try to save your relationship. See the resources on our website http://www.thecouplesexperts.com/resources
The point is to have adventures, being open and excited to share new things and explore your sexuality together, keeping your emotional connection strong.
Thank you for spending part of your day with The Couples Experts. We hope you enjoyed the show and take away something meaningful to your relationship. Until next time stay connected!
Free Giveaway: Connecting with your partner isn’t always easy. Here are tips on How to Talk About the Hard Stuff.
Click here to Access the Free Giveaway
Next Week: Join us next week for Arguing 101 - We all argue, that doesn’t mean that we’re not happy or in love. Stuart will be talking about what triggers us and how to fight for your relationship not against your partner.
The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too! http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/
Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2
Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com
Real sex vs. Porn sex: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q64hTNEj6KQ&feature=youtu.be
Is Social Media Destroying my Marriage? (Encore)
198 - Laugh Before You Cry: Divorce Proof Your Marriage - Encore
How to Appreciate the Women in Your Life on Mother's Day - Encore
196 - When you Remarry Where do you Unpack the Baggage? With Guest Brian Mayer.
Broke and Broken - The pain of financial infidelity - Encore
193-Staying Together when Work Keeps You Away - Encore
193 - Living and Loving in Middle Age - Life After 50 - Encore
192 - Wheres the fire I feel like your my roommate - Encore
191-Are You a Good Partner?
The Reason We All Cheat - Stuart Tells All - Encore
Banish Boredom in the Bedroom
188 - Emotional Intimacy - Bringing Sex Out of the Boardroom
Setting Meaningful Relationship Goals for the New Year
186 - Becoming the Diplomat of Authenticity in Attachmentland
185-RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES
184-The Importance of the Father and Son Relationship
183- Sexual Communication - Inside and Outside of the Bedroom
182-RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FOR THE NEWLYWEDS
181-Where Did Our Sex Life Go
180 - Am I Lovable Enough?
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