This is an Encore Presentation, this podcast originally aired in May of 2015 so please ignore the contest and the Mother’s Day greetings.
Hello and welcome to this encore presentation of The Couples Expert Podcast with your host , Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. Listen in as Stuart talks about emotional affairs and the impact of these on your love relationship.
What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:
Emotional infidelity can be a bigger violation than having sex with another person outside your relationship [5:18] Definition of an emotional affair [12:04] When Harry Met Sally “Just going to be friends” [15:05] We all crave an emotional connection [16:43] When you click with someone who’s not your partner [18:15] There are boundaries at work when you’re married [25:13] How we stop the affair and what comes next [31:25] There are consequences for breaking your vows [33:25]The affair has to stop, no question. You have to break off contact with that person. You can no longer spend time with them outside of a professional relationship. Understand that your partner is going to be angry and hurt and show empathy for how they’re feeling. You have to communicate with your partner about the tough issues. You both have to bare your souls to one another and show your partner what you need to feel secure and safe in the relationship once again. Whatever emotional needs were being satisfied by your affair have to be discussed and you both have to work towards meeting those needs for each other within the context of your relationship.
Don’t ask about sexual contact between your partner and that person. Your partner has been calling this an emotional relationship, not a sexual one, so you have to believe that is the truth.
Put a time limit on the amount of discussion you have about the affair. Avoid talking about it when you’re overtired and upset. Things may be said that you’ll regret. It’s hard to forgive and nearly impossible to forget. There’s work to be done on the part of both parties: hard work, unpleasant work, but if you both understand that what you’re working for is the future of your relationship and the emotional connection that was missing, you’ll work harder than you’ve ever done before.
There’s a guide to a true apology available to listeners.
Thank you for choosing to spend part of your day with The Couples Expert. Stay tuned for another encore presentation of our podcast next week. Until then, stay connected!
The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too! https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/
Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2
Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com
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198 - Laugh Before You Cry: Divorce Proof Your Marriage - Encore
How to Appreciate the Women in Your Life on Mother's Day - Encore
196 - When you Remarry Where do you Unpack the Baggage? With Guest Brian Mayer.
Broke and Broken - The pain of financial infidelity - Encore
193-Staying Together when Work Keeps You Away - Encore
193 - Living and Loving in Middle Age - Life After 50 - Encore
192 - Wheres the fire I feel like your my roommate - Encore
191-Are You a Good Partner?
The Reason We All Cheat - Stuart Tells All - Encore
Banish Boredom in the Bedroom
188 - Emotional Intimacy - Bringing Sex Out of the Boardroom
Setting Meaningful Relationship Goals for the New Year
186 - Becoming the Diplomat of Authenticity in Attachmentland
185-RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES
184-The Importance of the Father and Son Relationship
183- Sexual Communication - Inside and Outside of the Bedroom
182-RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FOR THE NEWLYWEDS
181-Where Did Our Sex Life Go
180 - Am I Lovable Enough?
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