“Even the most successful person feels doubt and anxiety. No one is free of it,” Leslie explains on this solo episode of “Why Didn’t They Tell Us?” Doubt and anxiety act as an alarm system telling us something is wrong. But when we experience these feelings in everyday life, as a result of our negative thoughts, and worst-case-scenario thinking–”I can’t do it and here’s everything that will go wrong if I try”—they act as the greatest barriers to our self-confidence and to our goals and dreams. Luckily, our thoughts are not truths and we don’t have to believe them. In fact, our brains don’t want us to fail or feel negative emotions– so when we feel them (which we will) it only leads to more feelings of danger.
Yet, we all feel anxiety and doubt—at an astonishingly high and persistent rate as it turns out–including Leslie. The point is not to resist them–which only makes them grow stronger–but to learn to process them, and on today’s episode, Leslie gives us the tools to do just that. She gives us N.E.R.V.E.--a five-step approach to turn the volume down on the negative emotions so that we turn the volume up on the good stuff.
Self-confidence is a journey and not a destination. Anxiety and doubt are part of the package. By giving them their rightful space without giving our whole selves over to them, we create more room for self-confidence and the pursuit of our dreams and goals.
Quotes
• “The truth is, that every feeling– the good and the bad, self confidence, doubt, courage, bravery, fill in your flavor of your favorite emotion, or least favorite–they're part of the human experience. All of them. No human alive is immune to feeling all the feels.” (2:29 | Leslie)
• “Remember: it's not the emotions that are the issue. It’s what we do and don't do when we feel them, and what we make them mean about ourselves that becomes the barrier to self confidence.” (7:24 | Leslie)
• “Self confidence and self love are subtle. It's almost like a whisper, ‘You've got this. I believe in you.’ But doubt and anxiety, and the thoughts that cause them are louder. They're boisterous. They demand our attention. It's an alarm sounding, ‘Something is wrong. You aren't equipped for this. You can't do it.’” (9:22 | Leslie)
• “The goal really is to stop emotions from stopping you.” (16:48 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Sign Up for Yes You Can: Self-Confidence Simplified: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/07162712a8
Six Simple Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/bc048dbe7b
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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