Shelly and Cam continue on the theme of habitual responses by looking at expectations. An expectation is basically a belief that something will happen at some future date. You can appreciate how expectations may be problematic for those of us with ADHD - the delivery of something at some future point in time. Time estimation and struggles with activation go hand in hand here. So it makes sense we can develop some not-so-helpful responses to expectation.
Cam shares three examples - ‘running the flag up the flagpole’, where we elevate our own expectations and ‘do whatever it takes’; ‘bristle and defy’ where we reject any expectation outright; and an emotional shame response where we go to our one-down position. There are more responses, and Shelly and Cam invite listeners to think about their own responses to expectation. Shelly, fresh from a Phish tour weekend, adds the colorful examples for each scenario from setting up the campsite to challenges approaching our Discord server.
Through discussion, the hosts reveal a useful process of getting awareness and perspective on the expectation, identifying our own relationship and response to the expectation, stepping back and releasing any attachment to the expectation, and then using the experience as a point of discussion to clarify and reflect on the experience to build a better relationship going forward.
Episode links + resources:
For more of the Translating ADHD podcast:
Shifting How We Converse with ADHD
ADHD and Managing Seeds of Doubt
ADHD: When Routines Collapse
Ego and Energy: ADHD and Reframing Narratives
ADHD, Context and Storytelling
ADHD and Practical Applications of Context
Context: ADHD Superpower
Revealing the True Self in a Coaching Engagement with ADHD
Finding Your True Self When Context Shifts with ADHD
Context and Embracing Your True Self with ADHD
Repurposing Negative Emotions with ADHD Part 2
Repurposing Negative Emotions with ADHD Part 1
Being Productive in the Midst of Modern Living with ADHD
Translating ADHD Live! at the Annual International Conference on ADHD
Co-creating the Coaching Scope of Work
Clarifying Coaching Goals and Outcomes: One Client’s ADHD Coaching Story
Navigating Barriers to Change: One Client’s ADHD Coaching Story
When Are You Ready for ADHD Coaching?
Signs You Are Stuck at the Third Barrier of ADHD - New Learning
Overwhelm, Burnout and Fear: Signs of the Second Barrier of ADHD
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