How To Deal With Grief and Trauma

164 The Many Faces of Trauma | Small t, Big T and the Missing Middle

Send us a text“Small t” and “big T” are common trauma terms meant to validate, but they can also trigger comparison, minimisation, or shame. In this episode, you’ll learn what these labels usually mean, why they sometimes backfire, and how to replace ranking with a more compassionate, nervous-system-based framework. You’ll also get a simple reframe list (cumulative, relational, chronic vs single-incident, acute) and a short grounding practice to help your system step out of comparison and back into the present.In this episode, you’ll learnWhat people typically mean by big T and small t traumaWhy the “missing middle” matters (quiet, chronic, relational stress that still shapes the nervous system)How comparison keeps people stuck: “It wasn’t bad enough” vs “I’m permanently damaged”A clearer alternative to ranking: impact + support + recoveryPolyvagal-informed understanding of why the nervous system doesn’t rank events “on paper”A short, safe-for-most grounding practice focused on validation and present-moment safetyGentle remindersTrauma isn’t a competition, and you don’t need to justify your pain to deserve support.If you feel activated or numb while listening, that’s a nervous system response; pause anytime.Check the website for free resources available to both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.What’s nextNext episode: Before Words: Understanding Preverbal Trauma We’ll explore how the body can carry trauma from experiences that happened before you had language and how to work with it gently.Support the show💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it. 🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast! 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook Find Support Resources 💜 For Grievers – Resourceshttps://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/ 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/ 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/ 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

163 The Many Faces of Trauma | When the Body Learns Danger: What Trauma Is (and Isn’t)

Send us a textTrauma isn’t only about what happened—it’s about what happened inside your nervous system when an experience was too much, too fast, too soon, or too long, without enough support, choice, or protection. In this episode, we clarify what trauma is (and isn’t), using simple, polyvagal-informed language—so you can replace shame and confusion with understanding. You’ll also be guided through a short grounding practice you can use anytime.In this episode, you’ll learnA clear, compassionate definition of trauma that goes beyond the “one big event” narrativeWhy two people can experience similar events and be impacted differentlyThe difference between stress and trauma (and why that matters)Why trauma responses are adaptations, not character flawsHow trauma can be remembered as sensations, triggers, and patterns—not just a storyA simple polyvagal lens: safety & connection, mobilised protection (fight/flight), and shutdown protectionA short, trauma-neutral grounding practice to support regulationGentle remindersTrauma is not a competition. You don’t need to justify your pain.If your body reacts while listening—tightness, racing thoughts, numbness—this is information, not failure.You’re invited to pause, skip ahead, or return later. Your pace matters.Check the website for the free resources offered for both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.Coming next: Small t, Big T—and the Missing MiddleWe’ll explore why these terms can be helpful, where they can become misleading, and how to use them without comparison or shame.Share this episode with someone who…Minimises their experience (“It wasn’t that bad…”)Feels confused by their reactions (“Why am I like this?”)Supports others and wants a clearer, kinder framework for understanding traumaSupport the show💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it. 🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast! 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook Find Support Resources 💜 For Grievers – Resourceshttps://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/ 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/ 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/ 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

162 The Many Faces of Trauma | The Trauma Map: How This Series Works

Send us a textWelcome to the first episode of my new series “The Many Faces of Trauma.” In this opening episode, I share why I’m creating this series and how I’ll guide you through different trauma types in a way that’s clear, gentle, and not overwhelming. I introduce the “trauma map” I’ll be using across two seasons, explain what I mean by “trauma types” (as pathways, not labels), and offer a simple, polyvagal-informed way to understand what your nervous system may be doing.In this episode, I coverWhy I’m creating a trauma-types series—and how naming can reduce shameWhat I mean by “trauma type” (a pathway, not a box you live in)This series is structured across two seasons, so you can go at your own paceThe five big pathways:FoundationsEarly imprint traumaEvent-based traumaSociety-shaped & environment-based traumaWhat trauma can become (including how trauma can affect the body)My simple, plain-language polyvagal map of nervous system states:Safety & connection - ventral Mobilised protection (fight/flight) - sympatheticShutdown protection (numb/freeze/collapse) - dorsalHow to listen in a way that supports your system Gentle content noteIn this episode, I talk about trauma in general terms with no graphic detail. You’re always welcome to pause, step away, or come back later.Grounding practiceI guide you through a brief practice that’s safe for most people, including:Orienting (noticing a few neutral objects around you)Longer-exhale breathingContact + choice (feeling support in your body and naming one small next step)How I recommend you use this seriesYou don’t have to listen in order; start where you feel steady or curiousYou may relate to more than one episode (that’s common)This series is not a diagnosis tool; it’s a map for understanding and supportI invite you to check my website for the free resources offered for both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.Coming next: When the BodySupport the show💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it. 🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast! 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook Find Support Resources 💜 For Grievers – Resourceshttps://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/ 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/ 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/ 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

Season 16 & 17 - Trailer: News About the Upcoming Show

Send us a textWelcome again to the How to Deal With Grief and Trauma Podcast Season 16.HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self-funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast: bit.ly/SupportGTPodcast. Thank you! For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website, join the podcast’s Instagram page, and subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.Today is Monday, 19th January and for me a significant day: It is the 14th death-iversary of my Mother. With this in mind, I'm taking a moment to honour her and the body of work I've created with this podcast - even though I'm not one to applaud my own accomplishments easily. For the coming season 16 and 17, I'm planing a whole set of episodes on the topic of trauma, starting with last week's episode on cultural grief following a traumatic event. Before we begin, a gentle content note: we’ll be talking about trauma in general terms. There will be no graphic details. You don’t have to push through any of the episodes. If you notice your body tightening, your breath changing, or your mind drifting away, that’s not failure—that’s your nervous system doing its job. You’re allowed to pause, come back later, or choose a different episode.  The intent is to educate, to inform and to support - both those affected and those supporting those who are. With that in mind, have a gentle day. Let you nervous system guide you. With Love, Nathalie Support the show💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it. 🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast! 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook Find Support Resources 💜 For Grievers – Resourceshttps://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/ 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/ 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/ 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

161 Collective Grief and Trauma | When Disaster Strikes: Understanding Collective Grief and Trauma After Sudden Tragedy

Send us a textIn this episode, Nathalie explores the emotional, psychological, and communal impact of the tragic event that took place on January 1st at Le Constellation in Crans-Montana. Together, we examine what happens in the immediate aftermath of sudden disasters, how individuals and communities—both local and global—are affected, and why events like these evoke such strong collective responses.Topics include:Immediate physiological and emotional reactions after a tragic eventHow local and wider communities experience shock, disbelief, and shared griefCommon grief and trauma responses following sudden, collective lossThe effects of prolonged uncertainty, media presence, and legal processesWhy global attention intensifies around sudden tragedies, even amidst ongoing crisesWhat those affected can expect in the weeks and months aheadHow to support yourself and others through trauma and community-wide griefFor resources, support, and further guidance, visit: Support Page: https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/To explore more conversations on grief, trauma, and healing, browse the full episode catalogue: Podcast Archive: https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/episode-overview-latest-episode-first/Thank you for listening and for taking gentle care of yourself and your community.Support the show💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it. 🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast! 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook Find Support Resources 💜 For Grievers – Resourceshttps://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/ 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/ 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/ 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/