Light in the Battle: Autism, Single Motherhood and Trauma Recovery

18. The 10 Impacts of EMDR on my Life, From the Legal Battle, to Unmasking my ASD & Becoming More Feminine - EMDR for PTSD 2/2 - Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, Season 2

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle, a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse — and a spacewhere we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.In this episode, I share the 10 most significant ways EMDR therapy changed my life, from parenting and unmasking my autism, to emotional detachment, femininity, and finally performing better in family court.What I learned the hard way is this:Legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high.As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, police reports, or in front of a judge — they continue to be perceived as unstable, emotional, or unsafe, even when their concerns are valid. Courts are not trauma-informed. That reality doesn’t change. What can change is how we show up.EMDR was the turning point that allowed me to detach emotionally without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally play by the court’s rules in a way that made patterns undeniable.In this episode, I cover:How EMDR helped me speak calmly and precisely about what was done to meWhy emotional regulation is critical when dealing with police, courts, schools, and institutionsThe impact of EMDR on my parenting, advocacy, and sensory overwhelm as an autistic motherHow trauma fawning overlaps with autistic masking — and why EMDR made unmasking possible The return of softness, femininity, and quiet strength after CPTSDWhy forgiveness (not reconciliation) only became possible after trauma treatmentHow surrender becomes accessible once hypervigilance loosens its gripWhy emotional detachment is not indifference — it’s strategic, protective, and child-focusedHow EMDR changed my behavior long before I ever walked into a courtroomIf you’re new to EMDR, I strongly recommend starting with Episode 17, where I explain what EMDR is, the difference between traumatic memories and bad memories, and why this episode builds directly on that foundation.👉 Next in Season 2:Episode 19 — Forgiveness: What It Is, and Why It Does NOT Mean ReconciliationIf this season resonates, please follow the show and leave a review — it helps this content reach other women who need it. In Season 2, so far we've covered:The first step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you have PTSD or CPTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency,Gratitude,Fellowship & Mentorship with the STAR Network,Surrender & griefFollow the show so you can hear the entire season 2 about Emotional Detachment. Here is the link to the ⁠TED Talk by Brené Brown, on Vulnerability⁠ which I mention in this episode. Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse or legal trauma, and about nervous system recovery. Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.Take it one day at a time.Your only job today is to make it to tonight.Then you’ll do that again tomorrow.We’ll see you next week.

17. EMDR for CPTSD and PTSD - What is EMDR, What to Expect, How to Heal from PTSD and CPTSD, My Personal Experience with EMDR - Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, Season 2

PTSD and CPTSD are common in survivors of narcissistic abuse and in their recovery. We find ourselves going into fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This is not helpful in parenting, let alone solo parenting with an ASD brain. It's also not helpful during the months leading up to a court hearing, and during the hearing itself. The nervous system has adapted to keep us safe, but once the chronic threat is gone, nervous system recovery means learning to let go of these maladaptive responses.So we look for trauma therapies for PTSD and CPTSD. Regular, "talk" therapy can be retraumatizing, whereas EMDR is a short, powerful, trauma-specific approach. EMDR is one of several options available to you to treat PTSD and CPTSD, so please work with your therapist to see what's best for your specific situation. All I know is that EMDR is the one that treated my CPTSD.In this Episode I explain what EMDR is, how it works, the difference between a traumatic memory and a bad memory, the timeline to clean out various traumatic memories, and I share a few heads up from my personal experience with EMDR.Please consider listening to this as well, Chronic Trauma and EMDR, to go deeper into EMDR and Trauma. In Episode 18 we will talk about 10 things that have dramatically changed in my life after I did EMDR, how it's helped me win in family court and better advocate for my child. Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with the "addiction to chaos" mini-series, Episode 15A to Episode 16B) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any legal advice you obtain from your lawyer, or any advice coming from lived experience, about court prep, actually lands. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:First step is to not go back. I cover the Trauma Bond, a true addiction to chaos, in ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode 16A⁠⁠, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD or CPTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency, gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender and grief.Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠⁠.Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to heal from narcissistic abuse, how to become the person you need to be in order to win a custody battle, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.Keywords: Domestic violence, trauma recovery, PTSD, chronic trauma, CPTSD, childhood trauma, trauma triggers, nervous system recovery, how to heal the nervous system after trauma, emotional detachment, EMDR, EMDR therapy, how does EMDR therapy work, healing from trauma, trauma healing

Bonus - How I bring it all together - AuDHD parenting, PDA, NPD, legal battles, solo parenting and Catholicism

This Episode I'm positioning as a "break" in the middle of Season 2, "Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court" which covers trauma recovery, CPTSD, forgiveness, gratitude, the trauma bond, etc. Maybe it's my autism but I feel the need to explain myself :) Why I'm here, whom I'm speaking to and what I can do for you. I'm Faustina, I'm a single mom on the spectrum raising a PDA child, healing from narcissistic abuse and winning in court despite confusing dynamics. I'm doing it all without a husband, without a safety net and I'm carrying 99% of the parenting load. Just me, my kid, my dog, and Jesus. If you also feel like there are no other spaces that talk about all of this stuff TOGETHER then I'm your girl. I am no longer in the thick of it, I went to EMDR therapy for PTSD, I did the work to soothe the nervous system, so I can speak clearly. But it's still fresh. I'm not speaking about topics that have been in the rear view mirror for many years. I am and always will be autistic, raising a PDA child, in a high-conflict coparenting dynamic, and leaning on God for my spiritual battle and the demonic aspects of dealing with narcissistic patterns of behaviour. My intention is to inspire others to find moments of joy in their day-to-day.

16-B. The 6 Steps to Break the Trauma Bond - Normalizing Stress Hormone Levels - Chaos Addiction Mini-Series, 4/4 - Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, Season 2

We now need to bring the cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine levels back to normal. In this final episode about breaking the addiction to chaos, Faustina goes over 6 steps that worked for her, when she DECIDED to LEARN to enjoy peace. With compassion and understanding, with humour and Catholic faith, with small action steps that are easy to implement, she describes what has worked for her to bring the levels of the neurochemicals back to healthy levels and thereby, heal the trauma bond.Chaos and danger are a true neurochemical addiction. Faustina was able to overcome the trauma bond by inventing 6 steps for herself, based on her very basic understanding of things she found online. She goes over these steps as possible shortcuts in your recovery from narcissistic abuse, legal abuse, or any form of childhood trauma that may have wired your brain to crave chaos.Autistic women are particularly prone to this addiction, because they have a craving for predictability, patterns, the type you see in the cycle of abuse... Women with ASD are often more vulnerable to harmful relational patterns and can get pulled into cycles of instability very easily. These 6 steps to break the addiction to chaos incorporate a Catholic interpretation of why that peace feels foreign, despite God’s promise, “My peace I give you”. We stress the importance of the Rosary, the Eucharist, and Confession, as rhythm and structure. You can pray novenas for peace,novenas for protection, sure, but you should also learn about the science of addiction!Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos"mini-series) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may have about court prep actually land. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journeytowards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos:⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your emotional detachment journey, will be codependency,gratitude,fellowship & mentorship with the STAR Network, surrender & griefFollow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode 9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how toheal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse or legal trauma, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional.To go deeper into the neurochemistry behind stress, overwhelm, and emotional intensity, Huberman’s episode “⁠⁠Tools for Managing Stress & Anxiety⁠⁠” expands on the dopamine, cortisol, and survival-mode loops.

16-A. Trauma Bond Science - Why Do I Keep Going Back? Brain Chemicals Behind the Addiction - Chaos Addiction Mini-Series, 3/4 - Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, Season 2

"Why didn't she leave", you ask. "Why does she keep dating the same types of men over and over? When will she learn? "Sounds familiar? Don't we just love that judgment coming from uneducated, well-meaning people who are not familiar with the concept of trauma bonding.Well... It's biology. Childhood trauma and/or narcissistic abuse can create a true addiction in the brain. A trauma bond. This Episode is the logical next step in our Chaos Addiction Mini-Series, after Episode 15 A and Episode 15B, where we talked about how things feel and how we suffer from the boredom and the deafening silence that follow years of running on adrenaline, oxytocin and cortisol - but precisely, we didn't dive into the brain chemicals and the biology of addiction to chaos. Here, Faustina goes over:the various stress hormones involved in abusive relationships, (cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine and oxytocin)what that addiction may look like for autistic women,the unfortunate rewiring of the brain that makes it challenging for a narcissistic abuse survivor to settle away from chaos, how it feels when you really really want to get out but can't seem to, how that wiring can be healed, even when it comes from childhood,very concrete, ASD-friendly, actionable choices survivors on the spectrum can make to get those hormone levels back to normal, and build bridges away from chaos and towards peace. Please leave this show a 5* review.In 16B we will talk about concrete steps to normalize the levels of the neurochemicals we described here. More here about ⁠Trauma Bond Science⁠ with Darlene Lancer.Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos" mini-series) is aLiberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may have about court prep actually land. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself -the version that can actually win in court:First step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠⁠, ⁠Episode 16A⁠, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD.For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development.That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency and gratitude. Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠.Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse, how to become the person you need to be in order to win a custody battle, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.