Show Notes:
CAPT Brent & Nicole Breining, USN (Ret.), return to the podcast today to continue our series on pornography and sexuality. If you haven’t listened to the first two episodes in this series, I encourage you to check out those episodes first, get to know Brent and Nicole’s story, then return to hear today’s episode as we explore the concept of betrayal trauma in the context of marriage and romantic relationships.
In this episode, we discuss how the symptoms and effects of betrayal trauma present uniquely in different individuals, then Brent and Nicole share their personal experiences with betrayal trauma. The Breinings remind us that this betrayal trauma falls under the category of inevitable struggles Jesus promised we’d face in this life, but they remind us of our hope we have in Him.
Check out the various resources mentioned throughout this episode:
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Dr. Barbara Steffens
Struggle Well by Ken Falke and Josh Goldberg
Pure Desire Ministries, through which Brent and Nicole help men and women heal from unwanted sexual behaviors and their repercussions
If you would like to share your own story, complete the form on OCF’s “Be a Guest” webpage. Alternatively, if you have an idea for a guest or topic I should consider for a future episode of the show, send an email to podcast@ocfusa.org.
As you listen to this conversation with Brent and Nicole, here are a few questions to ponder in your personal time, with a small group, or with a mentor:
Have you experienced hurt that has prompted you to question God’s goodness? How did you work through that doubt?
How might a desire for control over your own life be connected to betrayal trauma?
How do traumatic experiences shake your understanding of your core beliefs?
What is the value of processing past traumatic experiences to better understand your reactions to present circumstances that might result in trauma?
Nicole shares several things she found helpful in her recovery from betrayal trauma: finding community she could trust, practicing self-care, educating herself about sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, not rushing into big decisions when working through betrayal trauma, and creating boundaries for safety. What practical ways within those categories might you be able to work through or help a loved one work through betrayal trauma?
(S3:E9) “Pursue God… no matter where you are”: Finding fellowship beneath the sea
(S3:E8) “March or die”: Turning to Christ & community in times of trauma
(S3:E7) How God healed a “performing Christian” from past trauma and abuse
(S3:E6) “Embrace the suck”: Trusting God in all things
(S3:E5) Balancing relationships and Bible study in a small group
(S3:E4) Learning from the VMI ministry model to reach Generation Z
(S3:E3) Embracing GRACE relations in the body of Christ
(S3:E2) How to see past the barriers and share your story
(S3:E1) One Marine's Journey to Live for God, Family, Country, and Corps
15. Nelson Chiaravallotti: “Enduring and faithful pursuit in the face of affliction”
14. Liliane Delva: “I always use my experience as a testimony to help other people”
13. Karis and Ben Meier: “God really opened my heart through what I’ve suffered”
12. Ron Bracy: “God wants me to simply trust and obey where He leads”
11. Amanda Yashack, part 2: “God is healing me and he is giving me my life back”
10. Amanda Yashack, part 1: “That morning at PT something inside me just completely broke.”
9. Sam Alexander: “I realized that I need to really focus on bringing God into my work”
8. Hannah Johnson: “In order to glorify God, I have to have it all together”
7. Grant Johnson: “Your identity is not wrapped up in the aircraft that you're flying.”
6. Lynda Johnson: “I no longer see myself as the star of my movie”
5. Aaron Zimmerman: Finding peace when our identity is in Christ
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