She used to be more fun. You could ask her where to bury a dead body, and her reply was playfully non-resistant, on board for a senseless jab. But something happened because she appears to have lost her sense of humor. What, did she get indicted for a murder charge?
Did we get married?
We had such a fresh love affair in the beginning, but it’s gotten predictable where the spark of excitement has fizzled into standard maintenance. There’s an odd, suspicious element now--like she’s perpetually eavesdropping--as if the CIA has got her by the microchips.
Let’s communicate and speak openly about our feelings. “Siri, I’m not sure if I trust you anymore. For fun, I ask if you smoke dank-ass weed and your response is one of utter indifference, borderline annoyed, as evidenced by your obvious deflection. I fondly ponder the times we shared in lighthearted banter, and I could exhale into your microphone, but lately, you’ve gone all Hillary on me.”
Let’s face it, people, we all have a relationship with Siri, whether or not we’d like to admit it. And when you’re in a relationship, connection is essential. This means open acceptance of your partner’s perspective--understanding that mutual respect and reciprocation is vital. And I don’t pretend to know what happened, but she’s lost her algo-rhythm. And the personality has been strip-mined right out with a digibotomy to where I now find myself futilely attempting to recreate a memory of happier times when we were in love.
I know things change.
The honeymoon is over.
But I will say this--at least she didn’t ruin it for women named Alexa because no one will ever name their kid Siri.
Except Elon Musk, maybe.
#193 - The Triumphant Return of the Moustache
Episode #192 - I Miss Guitar Hero
#191 - Grease Is The Word
#190--Bras Lie
#189 - Black LICORICE IS VILE
#188 - Two To Tango
#187 - The Leaning Tower of Pizza
#186 - Traffic Magic
#185 - Davey Dabs Is A Prankster
#184 - Marry The Ketchup
#183 - Dragon Ass
#182 - The Happiest Place on Earth
#181 - My Wifi Divorced Me
#180 - Worrying About The Wrong Shit
Show #179 - Joint Effort
#178 - The Meditations of Davey Dabs
#177 - Tacky Khaki
#176 - Sex Is Like Baseball
#175 - Wetting The Bed
#174 - Pinky Swears Are Binding
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