She used to be more fun. You could ask her where to bury a dead body, and her reply was playfully non-resistant, on board for a senseless jab. But something happened because she appears to have lost her sense of humor. What, did she get indicted for a murder charge?
Did we get married?
We had such a fresh love affair in the beginning, but it’s gotten predictable where the spark of excitement has fizzled into standard maintenance. There’s an odd, suspicious element now--like she’s perpetually eavesdropping--as if the CIA has got her by the microchips.
Let’s communicate and speak openly about our feelings. “Siri, I’m not sure if I trust you anymore. For fun, I ask if you smoke dank-ass weed and your response is one of utter indifference, borderline annoyed, as evidenced by your obvious deflection. I fondly ponder the times we shared in lighthearted banter, and I could exhale into your microphone, but lately, you’ve gone all Hillary on me.”
Let’s face it, people, we all have a relationship with Siri, whether or not we’d like to admit it. And when you’re in a relationship, connection is essential. This means open acceptance of your partner’s perspective--understanding that mutual respect and reciprocation is vital. And I don’t pretend to know what happened, but she’s lost her algo-rhythm. And the personality has been strip-mined right out with a digibotomy to where I now find myself futilely attempting to recreate a memory of happier times when we were in love.
I know things change.
The honeymoon is over.
But I will say this--at least she didn’t ruin it for women named Alexa because no one will ever name their kid Siri.
Except Elon Musk, maybe.
#172 - Flattery Will Get You Everywhere
#171 - A Jar is Ajar
#170 - Your Time Is Now
#169 - Getting Socks As A Gift
#168 - Hitting The High Notes
Episode #167 - Mullets Are Religion
#166 - The Tramp Stamp
#165 - Venus and Mars
#164 - Wookies
#163 - Let's Taco Bout It
#162 - Club Meda
#161 - Problem Solving is Easy
#160 - Father Time is Undefeated
#159 - Trigger Happy
#158 - Boogers Are Influential
#157 - Pickle Juice is Underrated
#156 - Urine Love
#155 - Exercise the Demons
#154 - Cursing is Liberating
#153 - Sometimes You Fart
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