I tell Honor that I’m proud of her.
I’m there, “Obviously, I don’t mean that literally?” because all she’s actually done is spend her Paddy’s Day picking litter up off the beach in Curracloe as port of her community service. “I’m proud of the way you’re, like, owning what you did?”
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‘A chap taught me how to hot-wire a cor this morning,’ the old man goes
I’m no stranger to seeing my old man standing in the dock accused of serious crimes
Camino Royale: the final exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book
Camino Royale: the second exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book
Camino Royale: an exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O’Carroll-Kelly book
‘Honor, there has to be a better way of trying to save the planet than this’
Dude, you’re not allowed to just, like, shoot seagulls
Father and son. From the same city. And we might as well be a donkey talking to a parrot
‘We caught the so-called SUV avenger tonight, in the actual act!’
People like us don’t get embarrassed. That’s how we’ve ended up where we are in life
‘What if the SUV Avenger turned out to be your daughter, Sorcha?’
The SUV Avenger has slashed the tyres on Sorcha’s cor
‘Bloomsday is God’s way of telling middle class people they have too much time on their hands’
There’s nothing like the school sports day to get the old competitive juices flowing
‘I want to have – oh my God – everything done?’ Honor goes. ‘My chin, my nose, my forehead, my lips’
‘What does Patrick Kielty have that I don’t?’ asks the old dear
The old man is a focking embarrassment at rugby matches
The two of them are staring at me like this is the worst thing I’ve ever done. It’s not even in the top 10
Honor says Joshua just wants to be friends. Better than nothing I say, but I hate lying to the girl
I’m the father of a 15-year-old girl. I think, by this stage, I’ve earned the right to embarrass her?
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