We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Flight risk. Sunak has finally passed his Rwanda bill and is promising to start flights in July. Stay the night! The i has the rules for being a good house guest and details how to be a host. Plus – Colour me confused! It’s someone’s actual job to name paint colours – and we’re obsessed with how they do it.
Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by political sketch writer for The Critic Rob Hutton and comedy writer Fergus Craig
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Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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Biden warns Iran over Israel – Dr Non! Why you can’t honeytrap a French spy – What do Gen Z think of Bridget Jones?
Why I binned my A.I. boyfriend – Tabloids in “woke Scrabble” meltdown – Has your bloke got a secret family?
Trump: "Call me Nelson Mandela 2.0" – The nightmare Disney dreamland for grown-ups – "Don't wanna date me? I'll sue you!"
Why the Mail hates Angela Rayner – Hardest Geezer’s Africa run: record faker? – How to be a love rat
Grindr MP’s blackmail bungle – The Amy Winehouse film nobody wants – Blind Date is back. WHY?
Labour set to smash Blair’s victory – Buried in balls! The Guardian finds its happy place – Have you got the perfect number of friends?
Horror at killing of Brit aid workers – Could AI bots land you a new job? – Jonathan Ross tells you to stop showering
Sunak wants to fine the homeless – Gwyneth Paltrow’s laser dildo – The world’s creepiest nepo baby
Special guests Boris Johnson and Liz Truss review the papers
Best of the Year so far!
Sorted for Eels and Whizz – Stop getting Easter wrong! – Romance is dead: Inside the crush crash
What’s Prince Harry got to do with P Diddy? – Bum notes! It's time to talk about pegging – Kim Wrong-Un: North Korea versus Alan Titchmarsh
Trump narrowly escapes going bust – Are you a Bonking Boomer or an Anxious Alpha? – Nadine Dorries is feeling sexy at 66
Kate news sparks panic backtracks – Women! Strike for the right to be lazy – Could you survive 24 hours in a Wetherspoon’s?
The Sun’s woke police slam England’s new shirt – Elephants in Hyde Park – Yolk? Oh no! Creme Egg wars
The Obama-Macron muscle-off - Is 90 the new 30? - Telegraph: “Death to self check outs!”
“Leave Kate alone!” says photo flogger – Are YOU having a quarter-life crisis? – Dress like your nan, say fashionistas
We've found Princess Kate! – Jeremy Clarkson vs. Jane Austen – Who cancelled guinea pigs?
Bonkers Tories: 'Let's swap Rishi for Penny' – Men want big butts and we’ll tell you why – Romantic tales of ‘missed connections’
Small votes crisis! No May election, says Sunak – Meghan launches tat for toffs – Are you a DINKWAD?
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