When we think about relationships, we often minimize how much work it takes to maintain the happy, healthy connection with our partner. We often feel like love should just come naturally or that if we are with the “right” person everything will just fall into place. What good couples therapists know is that being in a satisfying relationship absolutely does take a lot of effort.
In this interview, Dr. Brent Atkinson talks about how there is often too much insight and understanding as the focus in couples therapy and too little focus on repetitive practice. He proposes that we are all programmed in a way that makes it very difficult to get unstuck when unhealthy patterns play out with our partner. We need to learn to recalibrate the way that we interact with our lover in order to be capable of communicating in a different way.
Dr. Brent Atkinson is the principle architect of Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy. This approach translates new knowledge about how the brain processes emotion into practical methods for improving relationships and increasing personal success. He is Professor Emeritus of Marriage and Family Therapy at Northern Illinois University and his ideas have been published in several journals and magazines. He continues to facilitate trainings and has been the keynote speaker at many professional conferences.
The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!
ResourcesVisit Dr. Brent Atkinson's website at The Couples Clinic
Check out several articles by Brent in The Psychotherapy Networker magazine
Train with Brent in Houston this February in this 5 day intensive training for mental health professionals
Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group
132: Racialized Trauma with James Hawkins
131: Relationship Skills on the Dating Scene with Marni Feuerman
130: Joe Kort on When the Other Woman is a Man
129: Relational Life Therapy with Shane Birkel
128: Race in Couples Therapy with Corey Yeager and Kirsten Lind Seal
127: Implementing the EFT Model with James Hawkins
126: Emily Nagoski on Sex and Science
125: Continuing to Cope During the Quarantine with Jen Silacci
124: Dealing with the Emotions of Online Therapy with Amber Lyda
123: David Wexler on Counseling in the #Metoo Era
122: Working with Infidelity and the Developmental Model with Kim Gist Miller
121: Keeping the Hope In a Pandemic with Shane Birkel
120: Moving Your Couples Therapy Practice Online with Clay Cockrell
119: 5 Things Couples Therapists Should Know from a Sex Therapist with Martha Kauppi
118: Running on Empty with Jonice Webb
117: Where Does Masturbation Fit Into a Couple's Sex Life with Ari Tuckman
116: Attuning to the Attachment Dilemma with Ryan Rana
115: Janina Fisher on Working with Trauma in Couples Therapy
114: Alexandra Solomon on Taking Sexy Back
113: Shane Birkel on the Impact of Childhood Neglect on Relationships
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