When we think about relationships, we often minimize how much work it takes to maintain the happy, healthy connection with our partner. We often feel like love should just come naturally or that if we are with the “right” person everything will just fall into place. What good couples therapists know is that being in a satisfying relationship absolutely does take a lot of effort.
In this interview, Dr. Brent Atkinson talks about how there is often too much insight and understanding as the focus in couples therapy and too little focus on repetitive practice. He proposes that we are all programmed in a way that makes it very difficult to get unstuck when unhealthy patterns play out with our partner. We need to learn to recalibrate the way that we interact with our lover in order to be capable of communicating in a different way.
Dr. Brent Atkinson is the principle architect of Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy. This approach translates new knowledge about how the brain processes emotion into practical methods for improving relationships and increasing personal success. He is Professor Emeritus of Marriage and Family Therapy at Northern Illinois University and his ideas have been published in several journals and magazines. He continues to facilitate trainings and has been the keynote speaker at many professional conferences.
The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!
ResourcesVisit Dr. Brent Atkinson's website at The Couples Clinic
Check out several articles by Brent in The Psychotherapy Networker magazine
Train with Brent in Houston this February in this 5 day intensive training for mental health professionals
Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group
173: Betrayal Recovery with Lora Cheadle
172: Deepening Our Work with Clients and Selves with Dr. Sabrina N'Diaye
Terry Real on Relational Life Therapy
Bill Doherty on the Ethical Lives of Clients
169: Somatic Experiencing and Couples with Abi Blakeslee
168: Neurobiology and Relationships with Juliane Taylor Shore
167: The Science of Psychotherapy with Richard Hill and Matthew Dahlitz
166: Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt In The Space-Between
165: Facing Adversity as a Therapist with Wesley Little
164: Healing the Trauma from Supremacy Culture with Shirani Pathak
163: Self-Esteem and Boundaries part 2 with Shane Birkel
162: Self-Esteem and Boundaries part 1 with Shane Birkel
161: Healing After Divorce with Kristy Gaisford and Jerry Sander
160: Feedback Informed Treatment and Couples with Beth Irias
159: Infidelity Recovery with Talal Alsaleem
158: Being Bold in Couples Therapy with Pam Staples
157: Internal Family Systems and Couples with Liz Phillips
156: Joining Through the Truth in RLT with Shane Birkel
155: Developmental and Relational Trauma with Rick Butts
154: Elliott Connie on Solution Focused Brief Therapy and Couples
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