Robocop 3 is the embodiment of when a franchise has creatively exhausted itself. It feels and looks cheap; has nothing new to say; and tones down the series' signature violence to milk the most out of a dwindling audience.
For fans of the series, its existence must be heartbreaking. Robocop 3's ineptitude is on par with other disastrous sequels of the era, like Superman IV.
That is really all you can say about it. It recycles plot points from the first film and shamelessly calls back to things you loved from that one, as well. Its only novel introduction is a robot ninja assassin, whose fights with Robocop are so painfully slow, you will be tempted to watch them in 2x speed.
Thus, Robocop 3's 6% on Rotten Tomatoes should not come as a shock; but you should be dumbstruck to discover that it out-grossed its predecessor. Even with the PG-13 rating, that is astounding. Poor Murphy!
Now, sit back, optimize your prime directives with a Screamsickle from Six Point Brewery, and close your eyes during the jetpack scene! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are clearing the streets of Old Detroit with McDaggett's goon squad!
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Dreamcatcher – A Bad Case of Alien Hemorrhoids
Wes Craven's New Nightmare – The Master Returns
Dukes of Hazzard – A Class-E Felony
Idiocracy – We've Got What Listeners Crave
Wild Wild West – So Many Spiders
Mallrats – Stay Off the Escalator, Kids
Hackers – Crash and Burn
The Big Lebowski – The Pod Abides
Warcraft – Bone Dragons for the Win
The Legend of Chun-Li – A Spinning Bird Kick to the Senses
Postal – Burn it All Down
Super Mario Bros. – Flushed Down the Warp Pipe
Congo – Smart Gorillas, Dumb Script
Orca – Death Fish
Con Air – Fly Hard
Howard the Duck – Party Fowl
Primal – Cage Exotic
Drive Angry – Coming Like a Bat Out of Hell
Vampire's Kiss – Cage Uncaged
Face/Off – Whee! What a Predicament!
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