GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a somewhat successful live-action adaptation of the beloved GI Joe cartoon and toy line. It's a big, loud, dumb, and, at times, very fun action film.
Most of the adjectives above will come as no surprise for fans of Stephen Sommers–he of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns fame.
The DNA of what made those films such enjoyable adventure romps is here. Unfortunately, so is his penchant to go too far over the top. *Cough* Van Helsing.
What Sommers gets wrong in this, he basically butchers. Eschewing common series lore in favor Hollywood tropes, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra loses some of the magic from the property, turning off longtime fans and general audiences in the process.
Despite there being internet murmurs that this movie, and Sommers' career prospects, deserved better, this one underperformed at the time of its release. It grossed just $302.5 million on a budget of $175. Critics also sent it the Slaughter House. It sits at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes with 169 reviews.
But, hey, there is a good time to be had here, as long as you don't think too hard about it.
So, sit back, get your nano-mites buzzing with a Weird Science Pale Ale from Paperback Brewing Co., and call us Commander! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are training in the Pit to take down Cobra's goons!
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Mandy – Chainsaw Fight
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Black Friday – Not Worth the Bargain
Annihilation – It’s a Metaphor
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City – Itchy, but Not So Tasty
The Happening – It’s Crappening
Showdown in Little Tokyo – Samurai Cop
Double Team – Spy Island
Firestorm – You Still Alive, Smokejumper!?
Stone Cold – Mullets and Motorcycles
Kill the Irishman – So Called Mafia
Striking Distance – Jagoff Cops
Road House – Our Way or the Highway
Deadbeat at Dawn – Straight Outta Dayton
The Matrix Resurrections – Face-Zucker-Suck
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Out Cold – Playboy Bunny Slope
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