Moonfall—written and directed by the master of "Disaster Movies" Roland Emmerich—is, quite ironically, a disaster of a movie.
Essentially, in Moonfall, the Moon is on a crash course with earth because malevolent artificial intelligence (AI) has knocked it off its axis. Oh, and the moon is actually a megastructure that was created by an ancient population in the far distant past.
That society built the Moon to escape the evil AI, ensuring their species—us, or humanity rather—would be able to survive. None of this is a joke.
Without Bruce Willis and his mining crew to save Earth, we're left with Samwell Tarley and Orm, a disgraced astronaut who encountered the asshole AI ten years prior.
Anyway, loads of dumb stuff happens, CGI gets vomited all over the screen, unearned family feels occur, and, ultimately, the day is saved.
We can only expect that Emmerich consulted several moronic conspiracy theorists while writing it. Hence why it received mediocre reviews—36% on Rotten Tomatoes with 214 of them–and failed to recoup its sizable budget. It earned just $67.3 million worldwide on a budget as high as $150 million.
For Emmerich, who independently produced this nonsense, Moonfall was a financial crater.
Now, sit back, send your tastebuds into orbit with a Space Dust IPA from Elysian Brewing, and be wary of space conspiracy theories! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are sending nukes to the Moon!
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Out Cold – Playboy Bunny Slope
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The Rocketeer – The Antifa Adventurer that isn’t Dr. Jones
Snake Eyes – Crapped Out
The Lone Ranger – Wendigo Hammer
Dune – Spice Up Your Life
Club Dread – Naughty Cal
They Live – All Out of Bubblegum
Event Horizon – Brain Dead Space
Tin Cup – Bland Trap
Ed – Monkey Trouble
Side Out – Sponsored by MetLife
The Program – Place at the Table
Last Man Standing – No, Not the Tim Allen Show
Hudson Hawk – Scat Burglar
Cop Out – Bruce is Too Old for This S**t
The Suicide Squad – Passion Fruit Starfish
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