Beyond Success

#62: Why Evil Seems To Win (And What To Do About It)

It's easy to look at some of the biggest villains in history (both real and fictional) and assume that they were evil incarnate. It's easy because it frees you from the burden that you could become just like them.  But pure evil doesn't exist. In fact, so much of the evil you see in the world is just pain that's been unexamined and unhealed, and then unleashed on others. That's why history is riddled with the oppressed overcoming the oppressors and then doing the exact things the oppressors did to them to others.  This doesn't only happen in politics or wars. It happens in your personal and professional life too. Wounded parts left unintegrated dish out the same wounds to others that caused them.  The solution isn't blind kindness nor hardened cynicism. The only solution is to integrate them, and let each sword sharper the other. Or, as I like to call it, learning how to become a Hawkish Dove.  That's what you'll discover in this episode: How to become a Hawkish Dove, not so you can conquer evil, but so you can integrate what evil has taught you.  Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How attempting to protect yourself from pain leads to evil behaviors (5:53)  The insidious way misplaced virtues morph into weapons that hurt the people you love the most (7:38)  How to muster the courage to face your own wounded parts before they transform you into what you despise (8:14)  The "Hawkish Dove" method for balancing strength with compassion so you protect yourself against betrayal and being lured to the dark side (12:10)  5 steps to integrate your parts fully so you can fight evil without becoming it (19:59)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

#61: Why Sexual Freedom Isn't Immorality — It's Integrity

Most people say they support sexual freedom. But when a woman—or man—actually lives it… they turn on them. Judgment. Outrage. Moral panic. So here's the real question: "Can you be sexually free and morally good?" And if you can, why does it trigger so much shame in others? In this episode, I trace the ancient roots of sexual repression—from the kings and empires that hoarded mating opportunities, to the purity codes that disguised control as virtue. We'll explore how sexual shame became moralized, why it still lingers even in our "modern" world, and what it means to live with integrity instead of fear. You'll also learn how honesty, consent, and autonomy aren't loopholes in morality—they're the very definition of it. And how the outrage against sexual freedom says more about the critic's inner shame than about virtue itself. This isn't a defense of indulgence. It's a call to moral clarity. Because true integrity isn't restraint for its own sake—it's honesty, compassion, and respect for freedom. Listen now! Show highlights include: What traditional moral frameworks get wrong about restraint and self denial. (1:35) Deep-seated reason most people still consider sex a "taboo" topic. (2:43) What actually happens when you repress your sexual desire. (6:12) "Moral residue" that clings to even the most progressive minds, and how to rinse it away. (6:31) Surprising way "food porn" debunks the classic argument for sexual morality. (9:47) The tenacity of sexual shame: Why it persists in society generation after generation. (15:10) "Impulse prison" and how to set yourself free from the urges that would keep you handcuffed. (16:32) How moral clarity affects sexual freedom. (18:03) Surprising way some female empowerment advocates become profoundly sexist. (19:52) Moral argument for authenticity in sex. And how it applies to all your important relationships. (22:46) Sneaky way pride fuels moral outrage. (29:58) For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

#60: The Truth About Connection: Why Success Feels Empty Without It

Ambitious people fall into a trap: You've learned from a young age that achievement means love, and so, you chase achievement and other external markers of success only to realize the gnawing void is still there.  Most think their childhood patterns will get dissolved by father time. But the truth is, these patterns adapt to your knowledge, and become masters of disguising themselves.Take, for example, the seductive idea of independence. For ambitious men, independence is really isolation in disguise, which leads to deep loneliness (even if you have an attractive wife, thousands of followers, or are the most popular person in any room).  And no amount of external success can save you from this trap. But connection can.  Connection isn't natural when you've spent your entire life building armor around you. But it is learnable. It is the antidote to loneliness. And it is something that can save a broken marriage.  But first, you have to ask yourself (and be honest): Who knows the real you? The you behind all of your masks?  In today's show, you'll discover why connection is the only solution to isolation and loneliness. And how to reconnect with yourself and others. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why ambitious people confuse isolation for independence and slowly fall into the abyss of loneliness (0:38)  How building a company, buying a mansion, and dating beautiful women can make you hide from others and even yourself (4:19)  3 things all human secretly crave for and why success, status, and wealth alone can't fill this void (6:18)  Why childhood patterns don't disappear as you grow up (and how understanding this can save a marriage) (8:06)  How shutting down negative emotions like shame and sadness also prevent you from feeling excitement and joy (11:08)  The "Emotional Suppression to Addiction" pipeline that's one of the most common patterns I see in my office (12:48)  How married men who do "everything right" (but don't actually connect) drive their wife into someone else's arms (13:35)  The "SOAR Pillars" secret for tearing down your emotional walls and feeling genuine connection for the first time in your life (15:38)  4 steps to reestablish your self-connection (18:43)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz  

#59: Why Being Yourself Feels Unsafe (But Why It's Necessary for Happiness)

Most people spend their lives performing. Pretending to be who they think they should be — polished, composed, and never too much. But underneath, they feel like frauds. Because the parts of themselves they've hidden — the anger, the neediness, the shame — are still alive, whispering, "If they really knew you, they'd leave." That's why being yourself feels unsafe. Every instinct screams that honesty will cost you love, success, and belonging. So you hide behind competence, humor, or charm. You keep the mask on. And maybe it even works — for a while. But here's the problem: when you protect yourself from rejection, you also block true connection. You start confusing safety with isolation. True happiness requires the opposite of hiding. It demands exposure — showing your real thoughts, your real feelings, your real self — even when it feels terrifying. That's why authenticity feels so frightening and triggers your inner resistance. It's also why it's the ONLY way forward if you want connection that actually lasts. In today's show, we'll dive deeper into the Authenticity Paradox. You'll discover why hiding your shadow doesn't' actually keep you safe (even if it feels like it), why you must have the courage to face your own demons (or you'll die sooner), and how to start integrating your shadow and showing up as your authentic self - even when it's scary because it always will be scary. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why authenticity exposes your deepest, darkest fear for the world to see (and why you must expose yourself if you want a fulfilling life) (2:23)  The reason why both Nice Guys & Game Gurus never find long-term love and happiness (3:14)  The counterintuitive reason behind why the "Authenticity Paradox" makes you instantly magnetic to the opposite sex, to leadership opportunities, and to a deeply fulfilling life (5:00)  Two simple examples that show you the significant difference between being authentic (which builds attraction) and vulnerability dumping (which drains attraction) (6:15)  How to be okay with the intense polarization that will happen as a natural result of being your authentic self (8:44)  3 examples of how protector parts inside you manifest in your behaviors (10:06)  How leaning into your parts' fears paves the road to true, lasting connection (16:11)  Why hiding your shadow imprisons you in endless isolation and keeps you from the connection your seeking (20:34)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz

#58: Why Manipulation Always Backfires (& Authenticity Wins In The End)

There is a seductive and destructive lie many people fall into: Learn the best tricks and gimmicks and you can have complete control over your relationships - romantic and business.  It's so seductive because it promises control and success, but it's even more destructive because it delivers fear instead of control and breeds insecurity instead of success.  Worst part? These tricks and tactics work in the short-term, but they come with a mighty hidden cost: You slowly erode your self-confidence and self-respect - two necessary ingredients for happiness and fulfillment.  But there's a better way, and that's what I share with you in today's show. The solution is simple, but not easy. If you're tired of living with a gnawing sense of anxiety, you're tired of wearing masks because you feel like you're not good enough on your own, and if you're tired of hollow successes and relationships, listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The weird way relying on game and gimmicks erodes your confidence (even if they help you land dates) (1:08)  How taking shortcuts in dating and leadership quickly becomes a self-imposed prison (2:47)  The counterintuitive way that your success plants the seeds of your future destruction if you make this simple and seductive mistake (5:15)  How to get rid of the deep, gnawing anxiety that's causing a war inside you (11:55)  Why honesty, especially when it's hard, cuts through your mask and gives you a chance for authentic connection (18:00)  How manipulation makes you lose respect "both ways" (22:39)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz