Why do we communicate with other people?
There are many reasons: to build a relationship, to exchange information, to flirt, to teach, to argue, to convince, to comfort... The list isn't endless, but it's pretty long.
One of the most common is to coordinate activity toward a goal or outcome. We talk to others to brainstorm and plan approaches, to coordinate tasks and dependencies, to explain and align on strategies and tactics, and so on.
Today's guest, Tom Reid, calls this "Performance-Based Communication."
The thing is, though, we often sabotage this form of communication by privileging other needs. If we're angry or frustrated, we feel the need to express that emotion. If we have a different opinion, we feel the need to convince someone else that we're right.
Tom offers four strategies for engaging in productive conversations that help people up their game and get things done. These are the basis for the acronym TASK, which is the name of his book.
TASK stands for:
- Treat people with dignity and respect... at all times.
- Assume positive intent
- Strengths and solutions
- Keep people empowered
If this sounds a lot like the Four Steps from my latest book, You Can Change Other People, then I agree with you!
I know Tom not as a communications and strategy professional, but rather as the on-field captain of my Ultimate frisbee team. And it's his communication strategies and tactics in that arena that first convinced me that Tom knows what he's talking about.
Our conversation covers many different forms and situations: business, personal, health, relationships. The principles apply universally, so if you find yourself thinking that a particular part of this episode isn't relevant to your life, maybe stay with it and go a level deeper.
Enjoy!
Links
TASK: Performance Based Communication
You Can Change Other People