Episode 23 - I'm Sensitive, and I'd Like to Stay That Way.

Anyone else remember that Jewel song? Am I dating myself?

Being labeled “sensitive” sucks. I always took it as a bad thing. I’m not sensitive! I’m tough! I’m strong! You won’t find ME crying in the corner!⁣ Except, you would.

I am sensitive. I feel other’s emotions deeply. I’m sensitive to loud noises and get very irratable around them. I am highly impacted by the moods of those around me. Careless words stick with me and fester. A well timed commercial can turn into a sob fest. When my clients are struggling, I cry and get frustrated for them.⁣

Recently I’ve been accepting my label of being sensitive. Trying to own it. Because, really- it is part of who I am and a beautiful gift. It is taking some reconditioning to own and honor this gift. ⁣I truly do believe that you can be mom strong and sensitive AF. They are not mutually exclusive by a long shot.

Here are some ways I’m learning to give my sensitivity space to breathe and grow:⁣

• Meditation. Learning to breathe, pause, clear my brain of other’s feelings and emotions. Finding what I am truly feeling.⁣
• Morning pages. A morning free flowing journaling practice to help myself process on paper. Two full pages of free writing every morning.⁣
• Crying. Man, I love to cry. A good cry feels SO GOOD sometimes. Bottling it up never helped me so I’m learning to let it out.⁣
• Raising Zeke to honor his emotions. Showing him it’s okay to cry, laugh, get mad, be tired, feel joy.⁣

I coach a lot of my clients in to feeling their emotions again. It’s OKAY to get mad, be sad, feel joy, get angry. Bottling up those emotions never works. However, being able to FEEL that emotion and also give yourself space around it is so powerful. Feel that sadness, sit with it, where does it come up in your body? For me I feel anger in my chest - it feels like wet cotton balls, my face gets warm, my hands go cold. I’ve learned to feel these visceral sensations before the anger comes out as a yell, tears or shutting down. I literally think “oh, there you are anger, I see and feel you”.

What learning how your emotions FEEL does for you is gives you that second of being present. It gives you the precious pause between emotion and reaction. Many of my clients, myself included, are SO used to going from emotion to reaction over and over and over - with no space to process it or understand it. The kids forget their lunch again, we yell. The husband throws his socks two feet from the hamper, we stop our feet. These “little” things are frustrating, yes - but rarely worth the energy and reaction we give them.

An exercise for you to try is think of an emotion you have that you’d like to understand better. Maybe it’s frustration, anger, sadness, anxiety.

• Think about when you last felt that emotion and think about how it FEELS. Where do you feel it in your body? Do you feel tightness, cool sensations, buzzing energy?
• From there, take a breath and breathe in to that feeling. Imagine that breath easing the tightness, cooling down your hot forehead, loosening up the buzzing in your hands. What this does is brings you extremely present and aware of what’s going on - before you react.

This takes TIME but once you learn to recognize that feeling you can anticipate the reaction better. It gives you space to think, learn, sit with it. It’s worth the work and expect to “fail” the first dozen times you try but that’s why we call this a practice. Working with your emotions instead of against them is so freeing!

To all of my sensitive sisters- you can be both. You can be sensitive AND strong. Sensitive AND tough. Sensitive AND not cry (or do!) at all the things. Your gift to this world is your sensitivity. Thank you for that.⁣