She‘s SMOKING HOT

 

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King Xerxes - A younger Clint Eastwood

Vashti - Angelina Jole

Haman - sniveling arrogant and insecure

Mordacai - an older Mel Gibson

Esther - Smok’n 

 

King throws a 180 day celebration ending in a week long banquet. Vashti won’t come and show off.

The King scrubs her… she’s out. 

His advisors go on a spree looking for the best looking virgins in the kingdom. Esther is one of them… but she is already ahead of the game. Everyone is taken by her beauty.

The kings starts looking at virgins every night… if he is pleased with you he will ask you back the next night to play backgammon… uhm… probably not.

He asks no one back until its Esthers turn… The King is slain, smitten and inebriated by her beauty. Thats it, she is the queen.

Now Her uncle mordachai hears about a plot to kill the king and he tells Esther, She tells the king and he investigates and finds out its true. He kills the 2 plotting against him and thanks Esther and Mordachai. 

Now in time King X appoints Haman as his highest advisor. Haman is an ass… he loves the spotlight and insists that everyone bow to him when they are in his presence… But mordachai will not bow… he’s not impressed, he could careless and will only bow to the Lord. And Haman has it out for him… in fact for all the jews so he trumps up a plan for the king to kill this little sect of people by allowing their enemies to kill them and take the land and the little they had. It is set in stone.

But Mordachai finds out and tells Queen Esther… she knows she cannot approach the king unless he is willing to summon her or it could cost her her life.

But he says such a time is this - this is why you are here. 

IN THE MEAN TIME… Haman builds a 70 foot gallows to hang Mordachi from… 

But that night the King has a bad dream and can’t sleep. he tells one of his servants to bring the record book or history to him. As he reads it he again reads where it was recorded that Mordachi saved his life and he realizes he did not reward him. So the next morning he asks Haman what should I do to honor and man I greatly admire and want to honor. Haman says “oh put him in your robe with a crown on one of your horses and have a prince lead the horse with the man on it and shout this is what the King does to honor a great man whom he admires.

King X says… great. get mordachi and do that….oh and you be the one to lead him and shout out this is what the king does to honor a great man whom he admires.

Haman is sick with envy and hatred. 

 

So during this time esther has been throwing her own party for the king… and he is whipped. He tells Esther I will give you any thin you want up to half of my kingdom… she finally says… all I want is for my people to not be murrdered by this treacherous plan… the king realized it was Haman who had tricked him and he storms out of the party - now Haman is there at the party and he is scared out of his mind. He throws himself at Esther begging her to spare his life… but he is doing it in such a way that it looks like He is trying to molest her and the king walks back Dum Dum DUM dUUUUUUUUM 

Haman gets hanged at his own gallows. The king can’t change his verdict to kill the jews but he does tell the jews they can defend themselves with weapons… Turns out the jews Kill all their enemies, gain land, wealth and respect… and Mordachai ends up serving the king in great honor for years to come. 

 

God sees where you are at - just keep honoring him and realize you are were you are at for a reason- and in due season you will be rewarded.