519-Virtues Vs Vices in Happiness

Happiness practices, like anything, need balance. In this episode, we are discussing when virtues turn into vices and how to address them. 

 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and the other day, I was listening to The Atlantic’s How to Build a Happy Life podcast on When Virtues Become Vices. Of course, one of my favorite happiness scientists, Arthur Brooks, spoke with Dr. Anna Lembke about the subject.  As we all know, some areas of life can become highly addicting. There are common stereotypes of drinking, gambling, drugs, eating, shopping, or other actions that are harmful to your mental, physical, and emotional health.

However, as we continue on the path of self-exploration, it is curious to note that actions often rewarded by society can be both addicting and harmful to your life as well. Dr. Lembke states, “addiction is broadly defined as the continued compulsive use of a substance or a behavior, despite harm to self and/or others. The key piece is really the behaviors and whether or not they cross this threshold of impairing function.”

Work is the perfect example. Being a workaholic is fundamentally damaging to you, but when you tell someone you work 60 hours a week or were up all night working on a proposal, you get a pat on the back. But it goes beyond that; we can become addicted to literally anything, including reading, exercise, digital products, and even being a good parent or a loving spouse.

Brooks says so well in this podcast, “Almost everything that we do that’s really good when we push it to the limit, when we pat ourselves on the back, when it becomes a source of pride, when it crowds out love relationships. Virtues can become vices.” But how do we know when something switches from a virtue to a vice?

Unfortunately, there is no simple answer or one-size-fits-all solution. Psychology Today states that taking personal inventory can help you to realize when virtues go from constructive to damaging. When being a good employee switches to overworking, when being a great mom turns into being a helicopter parent, and when being fit turns into a damaging exercise routine. There is a fine line between passion and obsession.

Obsessive passion, or when the virtue turns into a vice, can present as warning signs when:

-          You don’t recognize the risks

-          You get tunnel vision

-          You ignore the needs of others and yourself

-          You lie about what you are doing or how often

-          Loved ones express concerns about spending too much time on an action

-          You, too, begin to wonder if you are going too far

Suppose this is ringing a bell for you. I encourage you to take some time to self-examine and share your concerns with a trusted person. As Brooks says, “A life that’s unexamined is one in which you’re helpless against these ravages that come from addictive behavior.” Remember, happiness in a healthy manner is the ultimate goal for this podcast! So I encourage you to find passion without obsession and to learn to step back when it is tempting to go too far.  

And remember, kindness is contagious, so go out there and spread a little kindness today.

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Inspired by this article in ____ (insert hyperlink) 

• https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/archive/2022/10/signs-of-addiction-success-workaholic/671690/
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201309/when-virtue-becomes-vice