Stefanie Myr is the head route setter, manager, and team coach at Climb Tacoma in WA. We met up in Leavenworth and talked about our similar upbringings in Christianity, why we both moved away from religion, finding “church” in the climbing community, confidence and self-belief, unique challenges as a short climber, being less certain and more curious, Stef’s polyamorous relationship with her husband and partner, compersion, honest communication, doing what you can to make the world a little better, and much more!
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Show Notes:
thenuggetclimbing.com/episodes/stefanie-myr
Nuggets:
0:04:05 – Miniature carpentry, and a gift for me
0:11:49 – Stef role at Climb Tacoma, and the gym as a core part of her community
1:17:19 – How she first got a job at Climb Tacoma, and having a diverse group of people on the team
0:20:16 – Stef’s unique financial situation, and the sustainability of working at a climbing gym
0:22:38 – Moving away from her Christian upbringing, and finding “church” at the climbing gym
0:25:09 – Our parallels with church music and moving away from organized religion
0:30:31 – Bullet point lists, and how the gym functions like a “church”
0:32:07 – Meeting people who changed the way we thought about organized religion
0:35:16 – Stef’s upbringing and programming, and not realizing she was bisexual until college
0:38:39 – Stef’s husband Julien
0:40:34 – Stef’s confidence, choosing Giant Man as an objective, and gaining something from every climb
0:46:17 – Frustration with height and grades, and needing to be V12 strong to climb V10
0:48:02 – My conversation with Nic Rummel about grades, and an announcement about the Patron show being on Spotify
0:51:19 – Sending Pimpsqueak V8/9 in Leavenworth, ABR (always be rolling), and why recording send videos feels important
0:56:02 – The power of seeing someone like you climb hard things
1:00:42 – More about confidence, embracing powerful moves, learning from coaching little kids, and unlocking pieces of the puzzle
1:08:18 – The moments that show you that you’ve gotten better at climbing, and Stef’s mountain
1:10:23 – Stef’s dream boulder in Goldbar WA, and other goals in Leavenworth
1:12:01 – How Stef got on The Nugget
1:21:52 – Self-belief, wanting to be good, and the power of affirmation
1:26:17 – Our brain’s reaction to negative comments, and how Stef deals with trolls
1:38:02 – The lawyer in my brain, and making people think differently by asking better questions
1:39:51 – Less certain more curious
1:42:47 – Stef’s polyamorous relationship, and why she wanted to talk about it
1:50:50 – Normalizing sex, and redefining cheating in an open relationship
1:56:18 – Equating sex and intimacy to love, how cool her husband is, and the story of how she came to be with her partner
2:03:22 – Jealousy, and honest communication
2:05:32 – Why Stef wanted to talk about her open relationship, and why people who are poly are not free-for-alls
2:09:53 – Bringing all of who you are to yourself as a climber
2:11:53 – Compersion
2:15:11 – The depth of her relationship with her husband before they opened their relationship, and the distinction between security and trust
2:17:53 – Marriage, and Stef’s future with her partner
2:24:47 – Double the love and laundry, and Stef’s life in a go bag
2:26:50 – Check-ins, RADAR, smoking weed, and “ask don’t assume”
2:32:23 – Double-committing, and learning to communicate her plans
2:39:18 – What Stef wishes people spent more time thinking about
2:41:10 – Make the world a little better
2:42:20 – My episode with Ethan Pringle about his dad, and the importance of airing out the messiness
2:47:35 – Stef’s sponsors
2:51:08 – Pursuing the child-free life, and final thoughts
EP 220: Alannah Yip (Olympian) — Alopecia, Finding Power Beyond Hair Loss, and Her Fight Against Disordered Eating
EP 219: Fitz Cahall (The Dirtbag Diaries, Climbing Gold) — A Lifetime of Storytelling, Taking Authorship of Your Time, and Being Pro But Not Fancy
EP 218: Mat Wright — Sending One of the World's Hardest Trad Climbs, 'Rhapsody' E11
EP 217: A Masterclass in Relieving Stress, Sleeping Better, & Improving Focus Using Self-Hypnosis — Dr. David Spiegel (Stanford Psychiatrist)
EXTRA: Maddy Cope — A Masterclass in Endurance Training
EP 216: Maddy Cope — Erase Your Bucket List, Embrace Discomfort, and Discover the Joy of Missing Out
EP 215: Nathan Williams — Lessons From 100+ Days on a V17, the Simplest Way to Get Strong Fingers, and Static Shenanigans
EP 214: How to Find Contentment in Your Climbing, Banish Shame, and Send Harder Than Ever — Neely Quinn (TrainingBeta, Life Coach)
EP 213: Simon Lorenzi — Three V17s, the Fascinating Story Behind ‘Soudain Seul’, and Dream V18 Projects
EP 212: Filmmaker Carlos Mason on Creating SENDING — A Look Behind the Scenes at One of My Favorite Climbing Films
EP 211: Davis Ngo (dr.climb) — Blowing Up on Instagram, Why Pro Climbers Deserve to Get Paid, and Overcoming Fear After Injury
EP 210: Stefano Ghisolfi — Chasing the Impossible, Using Humor to Send, and Two Drills for Legendary Endurance
EP 209: Graham Zimmerman — Going to the Mountains to Learn, the 100-Year Plan, and Imperfect Advocacy
EP 208: Jesse Grupper — Optimistic Training, Last Place to Olympian, and Leveling Up His Bouldering
SEND ALERT: Will Bosi — ‘Return of the Sleepwalker’ V17, and What He Plans to Try Next!
EP 207: How to Rehab Finger Injuries, Build Bulletproof Wrists & Elbows, and Never Get Injured Again — Paul Houghoughi (The Climbing Physio)
EP 206: Building a Perfect Replica of ‘The Big Island’ V15, Training on Your Projects, and the Ideal Circuit — Charlie Schreiber Returns
SEND ALERT: Kai Lightner — ‘Life of Villains’ 9a, Not Rushing the Process, and Building Jamaica’s First Climbing Wall
EP 205: Adrian Vanoni — Finger Crack Wizardry, Blue Collar Sending, and Lucid Dreams About Beta
EP 204: Anak Verhoeven — How to Build 9a Endurance, Why Motivation Trumps Fancy Facilities, and Being Public About Her Faith
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