We're Dating the Same Guy

EP 42: Burnout, Boredom & Autopilot: The Real Reason Dating Feels So Hard

Ever feel like you're just going through the motions on dates? Asking the same questions, having the same conversations, dating the same types of people over and over? You're not alone—and you're probably dating on autopilot.In this solo episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something that's been showing up in both my nine-to-five life as a fitness instructor and my dating life: the difference between being a student and being on autopilot. When I started learning a new class format after teaching for nearly a decade, I noticed something. The same feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, and fear of judgment that came up while teaching? They're the exact same feelings we experience in dating.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why the moment you think you've figured out dating is the moment you stop growingHow autopilot mode creates disconnection (even in long-term relationships)The uncomfortable truth about feedback and why we get so defensiveWhy not everyone is going to like you—and why that's actually a good thingPractical ways to step out of autopilot and back into curiosity"If you're not staying curious about your partner, you're no longer a student of your relationship. And eventually one day you could wake up with someone next to you and realize that they're a stranger."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: MADDEN ZAPPAMadden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

EP 41: Am I in a Situationship? Why It's So Hard to Walk Away

Let's talk about that person you keep going back to even though you know better! In this raw, vulnerable solo episode, I'm sharing my 18-month situationship saga—the hot and cold dynamic, the false promises, and the moment I finally closed the door for good on January 1st.If you've ever felt confused about where you stand, made excuses for inconsistent behavior, or held onto hope that "this time will be different," this episode is your permission slip to want more.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:The 4 types of situationships (and which one keeps you most hooked)Why we confuse intensity with intimacy—and how that keeps us stuckThe psychology behind anxious-avoidant dynamics in undefined relationshipsHow to assess your non-negotiables before having "the talk"The three-month rule: when to define the relationship or walk awayWhy "if he wanted to, he would" isn't harsh—it's honestHow dating other people can open to yours to what you were settling for"Staying in a situationship where there's a lack of clarity is you also choosing uncertainty just on the other side. So what's harder? Sitting in the uncertainty with someone where you're not sure where this is ever going to go, or having the conversation and receiving the clarity you need and potentially then experiencing the uncertainty of no longer being in the situationship? The latter opens you up to then actually meeting someone and dating someone who could be a much better match for you long term."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: MADDEN ZAPPAMadden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

EP 40: How to Be Quality so You Attract Quality: The Secret to High Performance Dating with Coach Dar

What if you approached dating the same way high performers approach everything else in their lives—with intention, strategy, and a commitment to excellence? Today I'm sitting down with Coach Dar, a mental performance coach who works with pro athletes and executives, and she's breaking down why quality attracts quality and what it actually takes to show up as quality in the dating world.Here's the truth: If you're not doing the work to be quality, you won't attract quality. And that work isn't about changing who you are—it's about sharpening yourself, knowing yourself deeply, and bringing your best to the table. Coach Dar shares why confidence in dating is really about psychological safety, why you need to treat choosing a partner like you're vetting a billion-dollar business deal, and the exact questions to ask on first dates that reveal true alignment.We're talking about slowing down instead of rushing into physical connection, doing your due diligence before committing, and why the person you choose is the biggest business deal you'll ever make for your finances, health, and quality of life. This conversation is for anyone who's ready to approach dating like a high performer—intentionally, strategically, and with standards.Whether you're tired of repeating the same patterns, wondering why you keep attracting the wrong people, or just ready to level up how you show up in dating—this episode will give you the framework to date differently.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why quality attracts quality—and what it takes to BE qualityHow to treat choosing a partner like a billion-dollar business deal (do your due diligence)The exact work you need to do to show up as your best self in datingWhy confidence is really about creating psychological safetyFirst date questions that reveal true alignment (not small talk)How to slow down, communicate clearly, and date with real standards"Who you bring into your life is the biggest business deal you will ever make in your life—for your finances, your health, your quality of life. If you don't do your due diligence and talk this through and figure out who each other are and slow the roll, you will repeat patterns of picking the wrong person."- Coach DarCONNECT WITH COACH DAR:Coach Dar is a world-class mental skills coach who works with professional athletes, executives, and high performers navigating pressure, identity, and resilience. With a background as an occupational therapist specializing in neuroscience and neuropsych, Coach Dar brings a unique approach to mindset work—helping people go from where they are to where they want to be through the power of their mind and human behavior. She's the author of The Art of Bouncing Back and speaks around the country on confidence, communication, and human connection.Coach Dar's Instagram: @thecoachdarCoach Dar's WebsiteOrder your copy of The Art of Bouncing Back right here!CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

EP 39: Is My Biological Clock Ticking? The Truth About Fertility Anxiety, Dating & Egg Freezing with Dr. Lucky Sekhon

Are you feeling the weight of fertility pressure every time you swipe on a dating app? You're not alone. Research shows that 72% of Gen Z women experience age-related fertility anxiety—many by age 23—and nearly half feel pressured to have children before 30. But what if that panic is actually preventing you from making the best decisions for your future?In this deeply honest conversation, I sit down with Dr. Lucky Sekhon, double board-certified OBGYN, reproductive endocrinologist, and author of The Lucky Egg, to unpack the intersection of fertility, dating, and modern womanhood. Dr. Lucky is not just an expert—she's been through it herself as both a fertility doctor and an IVF patient who relied on her own frozen embryos to have her second child.We're breaking down the fertility myths that keep us up at night, exploring when and how to have "the conversation" with partners, and discussing why egg freezing has become less about desperation and more about empowerment. Dr. Lucky explains why understanding your body isn't just about biology—it's about choosing partners from a place of confidence instead of fear.Whether you're 28 or 38, single or partnered, unsure about kids or absolutely certain, this episode offers the honest, pressure-free information you've been craving. Because the truth? Your fertility story is yours to write—and the right partner will respect that.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:How fertility anxiety impacts modern dating and relationship decisionsWhy egg freezing has shifted from desperation to empowerment for women in their 20s and 30sThe biological realities of egg quality and the biological clock—without the panicWhy male fertility matters just as much (50% of infertility is male factor!)When and how to have fertility conversations with partners- Red flags vs. green flags: how your partner shows up during these discussions"Fertility challenges are one of the biggest things that differentiate couples in good relationships from those who don't necessarily have a strong foundation. Who you choose as a partner is so important. Never make that decision out of fear or desperation."- Dr. LuckyCONNECT WITH DR. LUCKY:Dr. Lucky Sekhon is a double board-certified OBGYN and reproductive endocrinologist practicing at RMA of New York, one of the largest fertility clinics in the country. As both a fertility doctor and former IVF patient herself, Dr. Lucky brings unique insight to the intersection of reproductive health, modern dating, and women's empowerment.After successfully using her own frozen embryos to overcome secondary infertility at age 38, Dr. Lucky became a passionate advocate for accessible fertility education. She provides free resources through her blog, The Lucky Egg, and has built a thriving online community on Instagram and TikTok.Her newly released book, The Lucky Egg, is being hailed as "the fertility Bible"—the most comprehensive resource available for anyone navigating fertility questions, from those just beginning to think about family planning to those deep in treatment. Dr. Lucky's mission is simple: close the knowledge gap and help people make informed decisions about their reproductive futures without fear or desperation.Dr. Lucky's Instagram: @lucky.sekhonDr Lucky Sekhon Double Board Certified REI & OBGYN at RMA of New York ORDER YOUR COPY OF THE LUCKY EGG TODAY!CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

EP 38: Don’t Let Your Breakup Break You: 5 Steps to Turn a Breakup Into a Breakthrough

What if your most painful breakup was actually a portal to your most empowered self?In this deeply vulnerable solo episode, Madden shares the story of the breakup that changed everything - not because it was her longest relationship or most painful ending, but because it became the catalyst that launched this very podcast and her return to coaching.This episode isn't just about healing after heartbreak. It's about recognizing when you've been ignoring your intuition, identifying where you've been playing small, and learning to channel the pain of loss into fuel for your biggest expansion.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:How to recognize when your intuition is speaking (even when you don't want to listen)The exact moment she knew this relationship wasn't aligned - and why she stayed anywayHow to identify where you're compromising your goals and dreams for a relationshipHer 5-step framework for turning breakup pain into personal expansionWhy some relationships are meant to be catalysts, not foreverHow to use heartbreak as fuel instead of letting it keep you stuck"We can get stuck in mourning the breakup. But what if that energy is actually the energy you could use to rebuild yourself? What if you used it as momentum instead? You get to choose the meaning of the hurt. The hurt can either take you in a loop of stories that bring you down, or you can use that hurt to fuel you forward."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.