We're Dating the Same Guy

EP 36: You're Not Bad at Dating — Your Profile Is: Online Dating Tips that Actually Work with Coach Erika Ettin

Feeling burned out from dating apps? You're not alone—79% of users report dating app fatigue. In this episode, I sit down with Erika Ettin, founder of A Little Nudge and dating coach for 15 years, to break down exactly what makes online dating profiles stand out and how to actually convert matches into dates.Erika shares her "Name Your Five" framework for creating profiles that spark conversation, the biggest mistakes that quietly sabotage connection, and why successful people often struggle the most with modern dating. We dive into profile photo strategies, the art of first messages, texting between dates, and when to move from app to in-person.If you're swiping but not connecting, getting matches but not dates, or feeling like dating has become another exhausting chore, this conversation is full of practical insights that will shift how you approach online dating entirely.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:The "Name Your Five" profile framework that creates message baitPhoto strategy: What your first three pictures need to showWhy "doing the work" doesn't entitle you to find someoneHow to text between dates without creating false intimacyThe green flags people overlook when chemistry isn't instantWhy your attitude toward dating apps determines your experienceWhen to go on a second date (hint: if you're curious for one more conversation)"Your trip to Europe is fleeting. Your potential partner, hopefully, is for a long time. So perhaps people should spend more time on their dating profile than planning vacation. You spent 10 hours planning your trip to Europe but only five minutes on your Hinge profile. That math doesn't add up."- Erika EttinCONNECT WITH ERIKA:Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating, from first click to first date. She is also the author of the book Love at First Site. Erika studied economics at Cornell University and received her MBA from Georgetown. She started A Little Nudge in 2011 (after a seven-year career as an economist). She is responsible for many relationships, marriages, and the confidence some people simply need to “get out there.” A Little Nudge has been featured in media around the country, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, CBS, and Ask Men, and she currently writes a weekly syndicated dating column.  Erika's Instagram: @alittlenudgeGET YOUR VERY OWN THE SKIN DEEP DECK RIGHT HERE!CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

EP 35: You're the Only Single Person at the Holiday Party (Now What?): How to Own the Holidays Single

The holidays can bring up complicated feelings when you're single—but what if you stopped treating this season like something to survive and started owning it instead? In this solo episode, Madden gets raw and honest about navigating holiday gatherings without a partner, the unexpected clarity that can come from seasonal reflection, and why your relationship status has nothing to do with how fulfilled your life actually is.If you've ever felt the weight of being the only single person at a party, fielded awkward questions from well-meaning relatives, or caught yourself wishing for a plus-one—this episode is for you. Madden shares personal stories from recent holiday experiences and offers practical language for handling those inevitable "so, are you seeing anyone?" conversations with grace and confidence.This isn't about pretending you're fine when you're not. It's about understanding that you can simultaneously enjoy your life AND desire partnership. Both things can be true at once. And more importantly, your confidence doesn't come from having someone by your side—it comes from choosing yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Navigating holiday gatherings as a single personFinding clarity about what you want in relationshipsHandling intrusive questions from family and friendsUnderstanding that fulfillment and desire for partnership can coexistBreaking out of hibernation mode during winterBuilding confidence through choosing yourselfEmotional maturity and sitting with uncomfortable feelingsThe difference between surviving and owning the holiday season"Your relationship status—whether you're single, you're dating, or the state of your current relationship—that is not the most important and most interesting thing about you. It never was. It never will be unless you're the one deciding that. You are so much more than whether or not you have a partner."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappaSTAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at @datedifferentlycoSubmit YOUR dating stories and questions: Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

EP 34: From Anxious to Secure: Stop Chasing, Overthinking & Losing Yourself in Love

Anxious attachment isn't a life sentence—it's a pattern you can heal. In this transformative episode, internationally recognized relationship coach Trevor Hanson shares his journey from working at Tesla while trapped in toxic relationships to helping thousands break free from anxious attachment patterns.If you've ever felt like you're dating the same person repeatedly, sabotaging healthy relationships, or addicted to the highs and lows of chaotic love—this episode is your roadmap to change.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:The real difference between anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment stylesWhy you keep attracting unavailable partners (and how to stop)The TEMPO Cycle framework for identifying and breaking your patternsHow to build genuine safety within yourself before seeking it in othersWhy healing while dating isn't just possible—it's powerfulThe emotion-logic gap and why knowing better doesn't equal doing better"There's an emotion-logic gap. There's a logical part of you that totally gets it in the front part of your brain. But then there's an emotional part of your brain that stores all your subconscious content. Too often we try to activate the front part of the brain to fix the emotional base brain. And it doesn't work. You literally aren't even turning on the right part of the brain to fix it. That's why you can learn all day long what a healthy pattern looks like and still get sucked into the same old stuff."- Trevor HansonCONNECT WITH TREVOR:Trevor is an internationally recognized coach dedicated to helping individuals and couples create secure, thriving relationships.After overcoming his own anxious attachment, breaking his jaw, ending a toxic relationship, and leaving a corporate career at Tesla, he found his purpose in helping others find their secure self.With a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and advanced training from some of the world’s top attachment experts, Trevor has helped thousands of clients around the globe. He’s been featured by the Gottman Institute and has spoken to audiences of over 10,000.As the founder of The Art of Healing, he teaches his signature Secure Self Method to help people step into emotional confidence and build the kinds of relationships that last.Trevor's Instagram: ⁠@theartofhealingbytrevor⁠⁠Trevor's Website⁠Free! Seminar ⁠From Anxious to Secure ⁠Join the⁠ Secure Self Club⁠ (Go from anxious to secure in 120 days!)CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram! Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠⭐As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over to Instagram to share the most recent episode!

EP 33: Combining Finances in Marriage: Money Talks, Financial Infidelity & Building Wealth

Should couples combine finances after marriage? Financial therapist Lindsay Konchar shares expert advice on money conversations, avoiding financial infidelity, and building wealth together.In Part 2 of our conversation with financial therapist Lindsay Konchar, we dive deep into the money questions that come up when relationships get serious. From combining finances to navigating financial infidelity, this episode gives you practical tools for building a financial foundation that actually supports your relationship instead of stressing it out.What You'll Learn:The truth about combining finances in marriage (and why the "merge everything" advice might be wrong for you)How to have money conversations without triggering defensiveness or shameThe biggest financial conflicts couples face and how to navigate themHow to maintain financial equality when one partner out-earns the otherWhat financial infidelity really looks like and how to rebuild trustEssential money conversations to have before kids, mortgages, and major life decisionsHow to escape "keeping up with the Joneses" and define what YOU actually wantThe power of weekly money dates for thriving (not just surviving) financially"We are not just keeping up with the Joneses anymore. We are keeping up with everyone. Social media is a huge culprit of that. For anybody that's like, I don't give a shit what other people think about me - that's a huge red flag. Every single human being on planet Earth gives a shit about what other people are thinking about them. And they should. What that is all about is having a sense of belonging. You want to belong with your friends, your chosen family. That's okay. But you need to understand how your money is reflected in that."- Lindsey KoncharCONNECT WITH LINDSEY:Lindsey is your favorite financial therapist for women and couples, here to help you feel excited about money! (Yes, it's possible!) Money is more than just a math problem; there is always so much more to the equation. Merging behavioral therapy and financial education, Lindsey helps you live your dream life!Lindsey's Instagram: ⁠@financialtherapistlindsey⁠⁠Lindsey's Website⁠Join Financial Self-Care's GET OUT OF DEBT course ⁠WAITLIST⁠CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUYWe NOW have an Instagram! Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠⭐ As always, we don’t gatekeep how to date smarter.If this moved you or taught you something new, take a moment to follow, leave a review, and pass this episode along to someone who would love it too.

EP 32: Financial Compatibility in Dating: How Finances Impact Attraction, Compatibility, & Long-Term Love

Can money make or break your relationship? In Part 1 of this two-part series, financial therapist Lindsey Konchar reveals why financial compatibility matters just as much as emotional connection—and how to talk about money without the awkwardness.Discover why your money habits were formed by age 10, when to bring up finances while dating (hint: earlier than you think), and how to lead with vulnerability instead of interrogation. Lindsey shares the conversation starters that actually work, explains why confidence with money is the most attractive quality you can have, and breaks down what really matters when assessing financial compatibility.Whether you're single, casually dating, or getting serious with someone, this episode will change how you approach money conversations—and help you build stronger, more financially aligned relationships from the start.IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:- Your money habits are established by age 10 based on what you saw modeled- Financial therapy combines behavioral change with tactical money management- Confidence with your finances is more attractive than your income level- Lead money conversations with vulnerability, not interrogation- The best time to talk finances is dates 3-5, not on date 20- High earners often live paycheck-to-paycheck just like everyone else- Money dates create safe spaces for ongoing financial conversations"When you feel cool and confident and collected in your relationship with money, when you are at ease with your money, you carry that. You stand a little taller, your shoulders relax a little bit more because you know where your money is going. And that confidence is what now you are bringing to that relationship. That's what is so attractive for people."- Lindsey KoncharCONNECT WITH LINDSEY:Lindsey is your favorite financial therapist for women and couples, here to help you feel excited about money! (Yes, it's possible!) Money is more than just a math problem; there is always so much more to the equation. Merging behavioral therapy and financial education, Lindsey helps you live your dream life!Lindsey's Instagram: @financialtherapistlindseyLindsey's WebsiteJoin Financial Self-Care's GET OUT OF DEBT course WAITLISTCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappaSTAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUYWe NOW have an Instagram! Follow us over at @datedifferentlyco Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⭐ As always, we don’t gatekeep how to date smarter.If this moved you or taught you something new, take a moment to follow, leave a review, and pass this episode along to someone who would love it too.