The EXTRAORDINARY Family Life Podcast
Kids & Family:Parenting
On Instagram, I saw a reel that stated "Myth: Sex is a need. Fact: Sex is a desire, not a need."
"All of us can live without sex; we cannot live without water, food, or belonging."
I had to disagree and responded: "It depends on how you define 'need'. For survival, no. For connection, bonding, and love -- yes, it's a need. Can you imagine if you're husband said, "You don't NEED me to talk to you. It's just a desire' and then went days, weeks, or months without talking because it's not a 'need'? You would feel pretty neglected. So if you want an extraordinary relationship then sex -- and talking -- are NEEDS.'
While the argument may be true that 'needs' are ONLY things that we can't live without -- water, food, belonging -- it's inaccurate when we're talking about the surviving -- not to mention the THRIVING -- of our marriage relationship.
Yes, people can live without sex. And talking. But an extraordinary marriage cannot.
Of course, there are extremes when sex in marriage is not an option (injury, postpartum, old age). But we're not talking about those rare instances. We're talking about marriages where couples CAN have sex but are NOT having it.
And I get it. As a woman who once *hoped* to find evidence that would convince my husband we never had to have sex again, I know how relieving it can be to believe that his need for sex is not real or is some how wrong or unrealistic.
But it's just not true. Men (and women) want and need intimacy, but for some (usually men) their deepest intimacy takes the form of sex. And that's OK! And when you learn to use both sex and communication together they create an eternal circle of connection between spouses.
Listen to this episode now so you can begin to see sex as an OPPORTUNITY for connection, not a burden or obligation. When you have this paradigm shift then everything changes. And you finally discover the key to building the relationship you've always wanted.
This topic is further expounded on with these episodes:
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Let us help you in your growth journey.
#243 Why You Don't Enjoy Parenthood As Much As You'd Hoped You Would
#242 HOW to (Enjoy) Spending More Time with Your Spouse & Kids
#241 Stop Controlling Your Kids & Instead Gain Their Love, Respect & Admiration
#240 Dealing with Picky Eaters & Empowering a Lifetime of Healthy Food Choices
#239 Stop Punishing. Learn How to (Effectively) Discipline Your Kids
#238 Israel/Palestine, Ukraine, W.H.O., 'The Great Reset', Tolerance, Murdered Activists, and Other Craziness! 🤪
#237 The Stability of Your Family Life DEPENDS on the Stability of Your Marriage
#236 Creating Stability: Become a Better Problem Solver to Become a Better Parent
#235 Creating a Family Culture of Stability, Safety, Trust, & Well-Adjusted Family Members
#234 College, Drug Lords, Billboards & Totalitarianism in America
#233 The Impending Unraveling (and Collapse?) of Society -- How to Protect Your Family
#232 PROTECT Your Kids NOW from Traffickers & Sexual Abusers
#231 Stop Lying to Your Kids — Speak ONLY Truth to Gain More Influence
#230 How to Handle the Stress & Pressure of Family Life and to Move Into Higher Level Emotions
#229 How to Plan BIG Adventures for Your Family (+ Budget & Costs)
#228 How to Help Your Kids LOVE 'Reading' (aka Stories, Learning, & Growing)
#227 Babe, I Want to Be Able to Talk to You About ANYTHING -- Let's Listen & Discuss This
#226 Please Don't Be Offended That I Shared This Episode With You -- Here's Why YOU (and I) Need a Coach
#225 How to Help Your (Public or Homeschool) Kids Get a World-Class Education
#224 How (& WHY) to Have Sex 3-6 Times a Week EVEN with Kids, Businesses, Homeschool, Jobs, Activities, and More
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