Les, Kurt, and Jason lament the essential cancellation of Halloween as we know it, walk of shame and all. (Poor slutty David S. Pumpkin costumes will have to wait until next year). They also offer huge congrats to our friend David Rosen of the Piecing it Together Podcast on his marriage… even if it takes the guys a second to piece together what the name of his podcast is. The Blac Chyna news leads everyone down a rabbit hole about whether it’s easier to transition to porn to so-called legit acting work or vice versa… and whether or not character actors can do it (picture Ed Asner naked, you are welcome). Then, it’s time to embrace the season of FALLmark and Falling for Look Lodge, a Hallmark movie bursting at the seams with the most white people stereotype ever: being really into autumn! Even with boring trivia games, an understaffed and underpopulated lodge, a super weird energy cake tasting, a sinister sister that would totally be a murderous stalker in any other movie, and a dude that’s into a turtle more than a woman (which is obvious to everyone but the woman), the biggest takeaway is that every Hallmark movie is basically Baby Boom. And that Linda Evans used to be married to Yanni.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
My Best Friend's Bouquet Lands in the Cornhole of Your Heart
Cheer Camp Killer Needs to Hire a Shirtless Kinesiologist Who is Steeped in Mediocrity
Deranged Granny Bakes an Apple Pie Full of Poison and Cable Ace Awards
Love in the Forecast Benjamin Button-s Through A Once-Promising Career Towards a Mediocre Internship
Wedding Every Weekend Has Lesbians! Interracial Couples! No Dead Parents! Bears! Mr. Belvedere!
The Twisted Nanny Knows a Spoonful of Sugar Makes The Murderin' Go Down
Check Inn to Christmas with Candace Cameron Bure and Hallmark's (maybe) first LGBTQ+ Couple
The Wrong Wedding Planner Blows an Angel's Trumpet Into Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, and Pauly Shore's Mutilated Cake
Check Inn to Christmas to Take the Polar Express Train to a Penis Shaped Inn with Al from Home Improvement
The Wrong Mommy and Sisqo Once Did a TV Pilot with Bob Newhart, but not Tracy Nelson
You'll Swipe Left On Hallmark's Matching Hearts Because Jackee Isn't In it And Neither is Happy The Dog
Watching The Wrong Neighbor a Second Time is Like Watching Michael Madsen's Performance Post-Lunch
The Psycho Yoga Instructor Will Murder You After Savasana and a Smoothie with Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Larry, Daryl, and Daryl
The Wrong Cheerleader Doesn’t Know How To Cheer, but DOES Know How To Snag a Shirtless 30 Year Old from Shank Manor
In the Key of Love Unlocks An Adam Sandler Rabbit Hole to Scatman Crothers' Cookies
Parker Lewis Wants to Marry The Wrong Stepmother Even Though She Isn't Vivica A. Fox or Tracy Nelson
The Killer Prom Queen is a Moira Rose Impression Taking Advantage of Rent Control
It's Wedding Bells for Danica McKellar, but all Bruce Boxleitner Got Was This Ponzi Scheme Greeting Card from Hallmark
My Nightmare Landlord, My BFF Young Peter Frampton, and my Ex BF Young Crispin Glover
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