I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki
News:Politics
"Griftin'" (to the tune of Clarence Carter's "Strokin'")
When he’s not grabbing butts
And mute, judging stuff
He be griftin’
Morning, noon, insurrection
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next
He be griftin’
He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’
How much money are you willing to give him?
Would you buy a quarter for a quarter-mill?
Would you give up your farm for a lifetime of Swiss cheese?
He’s ‘bout to sell you this
“Trade your cows for a gallon of milk”
He’s ‘bout to sell you this
“Give me 15 million and I’ll stop windmill cancer”
He ‘members when his mistress was diagnosed with windmill cancer
He started a GoFundMe; laughed; and said, “April Fool’s, y’all”
He’s griftin’, yeah, he always does, he be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next
He be griftin’
He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’
Would you believe anything he tells ya?
That a knife was a sandwich?
Jesus was a white man?
A robe was a puppy?
Or how about that he and his wife are all cute and innocent?
‘Member, no puppy is full of that much sh*t
He spews it every which way
Yeah, he’s griftin’
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next, sh*t
He be griftin’
Now, when this guy starts dealin’, I mean stealin’
He doesn’t care who in the hell he’s hurtin’
Because a creepy smile appears when this happens
Whenever that creepy smile appears, we do start dealin’
We say, “Clarence Thomas, Clarence Thomas, Clarence Thomas
Clarence Thomas, f*ck you, Clarence Thomas”
Other day: “Celebratin’ Christmas early!”
“Gonna get me a grift box and grift certificate”
Went to the store to screw people over
He held a box with a blank certificate
Said, “Hundredth donor gets the prize; you’ll be surprised as…” Woo!
He be griftin’… Cloak and dagger
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next, sh*t
He be griftin’
He be griftin’… Cloak and dagger
He be griftin’, oath
He be griftin’
And he grifts from the rich
And he grifts from the poor
He grifts from everyone
He even grifts from his whores, ooh
He be griftin’
He be griftin’
He be griftin’
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A
”If I Lost $1,000,000,000” (parody based on the Barenaked Ladies song, ”If I Had $1,000,000”)
”A Bigly Stain On Our Lives” (parody based on the Green Day song, ”Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”)
”How Not to Parent” by the GOP
Supreme Jackasses
A Hole-in-None
A Tale of Two Conventions
To: Russia, With Love
A ClusterTrump
This Is Spinal Tap: Presidential Edition
Cognitive Dysfunction Junction
"Demon Semen" (parody based on the Bush song, "Everything Zen")
C(ovid)OMPLEX
"What's His Face?" ("Arrogant Covidiot" Track 13)
”(No) Winning” (”Arrogant Covidiot” Track 12)
"Wake Us Up When October Ends" ("Arrogant Covidiot" Track 11)
"Twittermob" ("Arrogant Covidiot" Track 10)
"Diversionary World" ("Arrogant Covidiot" Track 9)
"Here's the Bombshell" ("Arrogant Covidiot" Track 8)
"Give His Ego Pain" ("Arrogant Covidiot" Track 7)
"Taint Donny" ("Arrogant Covidiot" Track 6)
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