The Chronicles of Riddick is the big budget sequel to 2000's more reasonably priced and plotted Pitch Black. Both feature Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel), a wanted ex-con and master of navigating the dark.
He's an anti-hero—a man who has done bad things, but who we root for because of his devil may care attitude. It was an archetype that worked perfectly in Pitch Black, as well as the third film in the series Riddick. The problem with The Chronicles of Riddick—problems rather—is the sheer size of the story they are attempting to insert him into.
Chronicles is a full-on space opera. There are prophecies, warlords, intrigue, and treachery. It's a lot; and when compared to its predecessor, it doesn't feel at all like a sequel. As one reviewer put it, it's "Space Conan," but that's not a compliment. Where Conan the Barbarian juggles the heft of its story well, Chronicles crumbles beneath it.
Hence why it was reviewed so poorly (29% with 167 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes) and failed to recoup its budget. It grossed just $115.8 million on a budget north of $120 million.
But, hey, it does boast a handful of classically cheesy Diesel one-liners, some laughable self-seriousness, and a smattering of shoddy CGI. So sit back, crush a can of Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout from North Coast Brewing, and prepare yourself for the Underverse! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are being taken to the threshold!
This Week’s Segments:
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Gallow Walkers – Bladey the Kid
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – Knuckle Bump
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent – Nic f’n Cage
Mandy – Chainsaw Fight
Willy’s Wonderland – It’s Your Birthday
Black Friday – Not Worth the Bargain
Annihilation – It’s a Metaphor
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City – Itchy, but Not So Tasty
The Happening – It’s Crappening
Showdown in Little Tokyo – Samurai Cop
Double Team – Spy Island
Firestorm – You Still Alive, Smokejumper!?
Stone Cold – Mullets and Motorcycles
Kill the Irishman – So Called Mafia
Striking Distance – Jagoff Cops
Road House – Our Way or the Highway
Deadbeat at Dawn – Straight Outta Dayton
The Matrix Resurrections – Face-Zucker-Suck
End of Days – Satan’s a Choir Boy Compared to Arnold
8-Bit Christmas – Super Merry-o
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