Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
Boardroom Santa! Ever been really into the business of Santa? Have a passion for Operations Management? Got a degree in holly jolly marketing? Wear a tie with your pajamas? Well this movie is for you! Just not for anyone else.
For the rest of us Santa Claus: The Movie is about as interesting as a government made educational training video. Its just painfully boring. "Santa has a meeting with Jeff and Susie from accounting! Oh boy would I like to see that!" he said sarcastically. "The elves meet in the conference room for a call with the supply department! Wowee!!!!" he said while shoving his head in trash.
The antagonist (John Lithgow) seriously doesn't show up until the 60% completion mark which makes the first hour and fifteen minutes completely devoid of plot and then we he DOES show up it's a series of groan-inducing jokes and Santa being a mopey butthole because apparently he's the only one that can give toys to children for free.
Lastly, this film does an excellent job of showcasing what an awful person Santa (this version - not Santa in general you people about to accuse me of a war on Christmas) is. He is content to give starving children wooden toys instead of maybe food, or a home, or curing their diseases or stopping dictators from murdering their family or shoes even. Nope wooden toys is the only thing that children want - according to Santa. "Wait, they want things that aren't wooden toys?" Santa says at some point (paraphrasing). "But...but...then no one loves me! Boooo hooo hooo hoo" Ugh. You suck Santa.
Santa Claus: The Movie is only for people who care only for the pageantry of Christmas and not at all about the meaning of Christmas. It stinks!
Thrashin’ - Clean up Venice Beach, please
200 M.P.H. - Not so fast
The Legend of Billie Jean - She ain’t anybody’s lover
Gleaming the Cube - Thrashing the Room
Volcano: Fire on the Moutain - Cortano!
Moving NOT Movies Episode 8 - The last duel
Moving not Movies Episode 7 - Black Bolt should shut up
Moving NOT Movies Episode 6 - The best of the last 10 years
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - Broke my brain
Moving NOT Movies Episode 5 - We inch closer
Moving NOT Movies Episode 4 - Its Showtime, Dammit
Moving NOT Movies Episode 3 - Tyler Durden is a flight risk
Moving Not Movies Episode 2 - Sam hates Wheels of Time
Moving NOT Movies Episode 1 - Don’t Go to Wyoming
Lifeguard - Not Baywatch
Rage and Honor 2: Koi’rate
Rage and Honor - Sister Justice?
Gator - Ballad of Bones and Smiley
White Lightning - Drunk Vengeance
Moonfall - So where’s Adele and James Bond?
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